Uncovering Happiness: Overcoming Depression with Mindfulness and Self-Compassion - Couverture rigide

Goldstein Ph.D., Elisha

Couverture rigide

ISBN 10 : 1451690541 ISBN 13 : 9781451690545

Editeur : Atria Books, 2015

A propos du livre

Extrait :

Uncovering Happiness STEP 1

Understand the Depression Loop

Clint, a middle-aged executive, had experienced bouts of anxiety and depression off and on since childhood. Raised by an overly critical father, Clint grew up believing that having negative emotions was a sign of weakness, so he buried them deep inside. When Clint was a child, his father would call him a sissy and embarrass him in public when he cried. Later in life, when Clint felt sadness or other difficult emotions, he would close himself down and become numb, avoiding his partner, and burying himself in work to try to hide from his feelings. Clint didn’t realize it at the time, but he was caught in a depression loop: complicated feelings (such as sadness) would trigger reactionary thoughts (negative self-talk) and sensations (emotional numbness) that would in turn cue certain behaviors (withdrawal from loved ones and escape to his computer and his work). Anxiety and hopelessness left Clint feeling pessimistic that he’d ever emerge from his depression, creating a negative feedback loop that made him feel trapped.

Working together, Clint and I focused on understanding the cyclical nature of his responses to his feelings. Clint began to see and recognize his own personal depression cues. He began to learn to step outside of his habitual mindsets when uncomfortable feelings emerged in order to take a closer look at those feelings and the reactions they elicited. He identified triggers, thought patterns, and behaviors that were associated with his depressive experiences.

Clint had a breakthrough experience one morning. After hearing some bad family news, he paid attention to his reactions and noticed himself becoming numb and withdrawn. He felt an urge to head to his computer to work, as he had so often before. He saw himself trying to flee from his sadness instead of allowing himself to feel it. This time, though, things were different. Because he had learned how to recognize the activation of his familiar depressive loop, he was more aware and able to interrupt it. He was able to make the choice to step out of the cycle and let himself feel sad rather than hiding from the feeling. As he gave himself permission to experience an uncomfortable emotion, the tension in his body dissipated, and within a half hour, the sadness passed. Clint felt elevated by a sense of freedom he hadn’t experienced in quite some time. By recognizing his own personal depressive stimulus, Clint was able to change his response and avoid a negative spiral that would lead him down the path of negative feelings, thoughts, sensations, and behaviors.

Learning to identify the cyclical nature of the depression loop and to recognize your own depression cues, as Clint did, is crucial for uncovering happiness. We’re going to focus on that in this chapter, because knowing what triggers your own depression loop is a powerful first step toward being able to overcome depression. Having awareness gives you space to make choices: instead of responding automatically and without thought, you can make informed, mindful decisions that can protect you from depression and open you up to possibilities you didn’t see before.

FINDING THE FREEDOM IN THE “SPACE”

As you work through the steps in this book, I hope you’ll keep in mind a wonderful quote from Viktor E. Frankl, an Austrian neurologist, psychotherapist, Holocaust survivor, and author of the book Man’s Search for Meaning: “Between stimulus and response there is a space, in that space lies our power to choose our response, in our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

The space between stimulus and response is the space in which automatic, unconscious thinking often takes over. When a stimulus appears, we may initially think we have no choice in how we respond to it. Someone cuts us off in traffic, and we respond with anger. A critical remark from an employer fills us with shame. But even though it may feel as if those responses are inevitable, they are not. There is a space between stimulus and response, and within that space we have the freedom to choose. That philosophy is at the very core of Uncovering Happiness. Start to recognize the space between stimulus and response in your everyday life. Once you become aware of that space, we can use it to make reasoned, conscious choices.

The Truth About Depression

Having a clear understanding of depression, what depression is or isn’t, helps sharpen your ability to recognize it in your own life, acknowledge how it affects you, develop proactive responses to your own personal depressive cues, and lay the groundwork for cultivating a brain with natural antidepressants.

Let’s begin with what depression is.

First and foremost, it is an illness—and like many illnesses, the experience of depression can vary from person to person. Some people have major depression, striking the brain just as an acute case of pneumonia strikes the lungs. People with this kind of depression experience extreme symptoms that can severely curtail their normal everyday functioning for varying amounts of time. Others have less serious symptoms that are more akin to the allergies that may last for weeks, months, or years, interfering with their happiness but not necessarily preventing them from living a functional life.

Because depression is not talked about openly, many people are ignorant about it. People sometimes think that depression is made up, a kind of chosen laziness, lack of self-discipline, or character flaw. But they’re wrong. Thanks to advances in brain imaging, we know that the brains of people who have depression actually look different on scans than the brains of those who don’t, just as the lungs of people with pneumonia look different on scans than those of people with healthy lungs.

Depression causes a range of symptoms that interfere with daily life, happiness, and the ability to sleep, work, eat, make decisions, socialize, and enjoy pleasurable activities. It is so prevalent that nearly 7 percent of adults in the United States will face an episode of major depression this year. Millions more will experience a sense of chronic unhappiness.

There is no one cause for depression. It can be the result of someone’s genetics, difficult experiences early in life, or both. Episodes of depression can be triggered by outside events and situations such as a physical or emotional trauma, the loss of a loved one, an accident, a natural disaster, a change of seasons, hormonal changes, pregnancy or childbirth, stress, relationship problems, unemployment, and a host of other causes. Or they can have no visible trigger at all.

Like most other illnesses, depression can be treated successfully in a variety of ways, including medication and several kinds of therapy. Even the most severe cases of depression can improve with and at times be prevented by treatment.

Now let’s consider what depression is not.

The biggest, most important thing that depression is not is your fault. Depression occurs as a result of a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors. People don’t choose to have depression, and it’s not something they can just snap out of when someone tells them to cheer up.

Depression is not who you are—it involves a conditioned habit that your brain has learned, and that your brain can unlearn. A habit is a routine of some process that we learn and that after being repeated tends to occur subconsciously. Even in someone who is genetically predisposed to depression, the habit is how the brain reacts to the relapse signs when they arise that fuels the downward spiral. After even a single depressive event, all your brain needs is a cue and a conditioned combination of thoughts, emotions, and sensations arise and go to work beneath your conscious awareness. The brain perceives this as a threat and then begins to engage in common behaviors that can be used to avoid this discomfort. Maybe you tend to overeat, isolate from friends, become a couch potato, or procrastinate. Like any habit, the result of these behaviors is predictable, bringing up self-loathing, hopelessness, anger, or sadness, and keeps you stuck deeper in the conditioned reaction that I call the “depressive loop.” But one of the biggest errors we make is identifying with this depressive loop as if this is who we are.

You are not your depression.

As this depressive habit loop unfolds in your life, the brain eventually creates a story with you as the main character as a depressive person. If you’ve struggled with this throughout life, family and friends have likely reinforced this identity, calling you a “depressed person.” When something is part of who you are, it becomes fixed, unchanging, and a draw for feeling deficient or defective. But when we truly investigate depression, even chronic unhappiness, it’s just a passing, fluctuating pattern of thoughts, emotions, and sensations that comes and goes like all other things. It’s not fixed at all, and clinging to this identity can be a source of deep shame and sorrow that repeatedly cues chronic unhappiness or more acute episodes. But it doesn’t have to stay this way. For the past fifteen years, scientists have discovered the dynamic nature of our brains and how we can create new neural connections throughout the life span.

At the moment it may be difficult, but for now, see if you can begin holding any story that states “I am a depressed person” lightly. As you do, you may come to understand that the all-too-familiar feeling that “something is wrong with me” is not something to be ashamed of, any more than having pneumonia or allergies is something to be ashamed of. You don’t choose depression—it chooses you.

Depression occurs in all types of people. Although women are 70 percent more likely than men to become depressed at some point in their lives, millions of men develop it as well. But many try to keep it a secret because men are taught from a young age that you need to be “strong” and that depression is a source of shame, implying “weakness.” From an evolutionary perspective, if you’re weak, the clan doesn’t value you, you’re not a desirable mate, and you don’t belong. If you’re cast out of the clan, your life is at risk. The brain of the modern-day man doesn’t see it much differently. Hiding depression only keeps us identified with it and doesn’t let it do what it’s meant to do: come and go. An increasing number of men understand this better and are speaking up about it and seeking support. On the other hand, many kids can’t hide it, as depression comes out as anger, irritability, and willfulness.

Depression is not always obvious. The shame associated with depression leads people to often hide their illness from friends, family, and even their doctors. So if you’re walking around thinking that you’re the only one you know who’s struggling with this illness, chances are pretty good that you’re wrong. You may very well have friends, neighbors, coworkers, and family members who are depressed. They hide it from you just as you may hide yours from them.



SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION

· Persistent sad, anxious, or “empty” feelings

· Feelings of hopelessness or pessimism

· Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness

· Irritability, restlessness

· Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex

· Fatigue and decreased energy

· Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions

· Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping

· Overeating or appetite loss

· Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

· Aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease with treatment

Source: US National Institute of Mental Health
Depression as a Side Effect

Depression can sometimes be caused by medical conditions such as thyroid disease, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and brain disorders. It can also be brought on by medications: dozens of drug classes list depression as a possible side effect, including (but not limited to) calcium channel blockers, beta-blockers, benzodiazepines, statins, painkillers, cancer treatments, therapeutic hormones, and birth control.

People don’t choose to have depression, and it’s not something they can just snap out of when someone tells them to cheer up.
The Depression Loop

I’ve found during my work with depression that it’s helpful to envision it as a kind of circular process: an automatic loop rather than a linear set of events. Clients find it useful to think of it as a cycle, a spiral, or even a traffic circle. However you picture it, understanding the circular nature of events that lead to or keep depression alive is an important step toward recognizing how it can pull you into its sphere of influence.

For now, let’s use the image of a traffic circle to explain how the depression loop works. If you live someplace where there are lots of traffic circles or if you have ever driven on one, you know how confusing and maddening they can be.

You’re driving on a straight road, minding your own business, maybe humming along with a song on the radio, and suddenly a traffic circle looms ahead. It just kind of appears on the street ahead of you. Your mind instantly starts anticipating entering the circle, how the cars may stream in, and how you’re going to exit. A feeling of fear or anxiety arises; your hands start to sweat and grip the steering wheel. As you enter, you search for a sign for a way out, and halfway through the circle you realize that you have to switch lanes to jockey for position so you’re ready for your exit. Meanwhile, you drive by other entrance points that each admit streams of new cars into the circle. You see your exit, but you realize that you either have to speed up or slow down. If you miss your exit—which is so easy to do—you have no choice but to loop around again hoping that next time you’ll make your way out.

Falling into the depression loop is a lot like entering a traffic circle. You’re living your life, feeling fine, minding your own business, and all of a sudden you find depression looming. Maybe it’s just a feeling you wake up with, a moment when you suddenly fall prey to a shaming inner critic that says something like “there’s something wrong with me/you,” or a response to hearing some negative news. Once you’re in it, you try valiantly to get out. But it’s so easy to get stuck.

Just as various roads lead you into a traffic circle, the depression loop has four entrance points: thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behaviors. Any one of these can lead you into the depression loop. Once you’re caught inside the loop, your mind goes around and around struggling to get out. Streams of thoughts enter the loop as your brain struggles to figure out “What’s wrong with me?” As one of my students says, “The bloodhound is sniffing around for the villain (and much analysis is required).” The brain anxiously defaults to reaching back into the past, referencing and rehashing negative events to try to figure it out. Simultaneously, the brain jumps into the future, planning, rehearsing, and anticipating some upcoming hopeless catastrophe. As all this happens, the brain pours stress into an already stressful situation.

You may see an exit, but as you try to leave the loop, you find yourself blocked by more depressive thoughts, feelings, sensations, and behaviors. Before you know it, the traffic gets even heavier with the addition o...

Revue de presse :

“Uncovering Happiness helps depression sufferers build a mindful and compassionate engagement with mood disorders by drawing on inner resources that are available to each and every one of us.” (Zindel Segal, Ph.D., author The Mindful Way Workbook and Distinguished Professor of Mood Disorders, University of Toronto Scarborough)

“If you want to flourish instead of feeling anxious, empty or down in the dumps, Uncovering Happiness offers the practical science-based tools to create a new life of meaning, connection and well-being. In this fabulous resource filled with helpful insights, Elisha Goldstein paves the way to easily understand the core components of happiness and shows how to take the steps to weave them into a rewarding tapestry of a new way of living fully.” (Daniel J. Siegel, M.D., Clinical Professor, UCLA School of Medicine and author of the New York Times bestselling Brainstorm and Mindsight)

“A smart, straightforward guide to happiness. A trip worth taking.” (Ellen Langer, PhD, author of Mindfulness, 25 year Anniversary Edition and Professor of Psychology, Harvard University)

“For those who have lost precious seasons of their life to the tenacity of depression, this book offers a pathway of hope. Drawing on current findings in neuroscience, his own dedicated personal practice and extensive clinical experience, Elisha Goldstein offers expert guidance in bringing mindfulness and self-compassion- the two most potent strategies I know—to healing our hearts and minds.” (Tara Brach, Ph.D., author of Radical Acceptance and True Refuge)

There is deep wisdom here, spoken in a way you can hear it, as well as short-cuts--practices that insure your journey of uncovering happiness will succeed. This is a book to keep by your bedside, long after you’ve read the stories, identified your triggers and practiced the tools. It will remind you of all the ways you can access the joy beneath whatever story you are telling yourself. I loved this book.” (Amy Weintraub, Founding Director of the LifeForce Yoga Healing Institute and author of Yoga Skills for Therapists: Effective Practices for Mood Management)

“A treasure trove of information and techniques to foster peace of mind and invaluable insight for those of us that are so often at war with our thoughts.” (Therese J. Borchard, author of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes)

“Uncovering Happiness is an invaluable handbook filled with poignant stories about Dr. Goldstein's own life delivered with clear, practical wisdom that people seek in difficult times. This not only adds up to a crucial recovery program for depression, but a more enduring life of contentment, calm and happiness.” (Susan Stiffelman, author of Parenting Without Power Struggles)

“This is one of the best books on working with depression I’ve read. It is beautifully written, easy to understand, and incorporates the latest empirical evidence to back its points. This book has the power to change your life.” (Kristen Neff, author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself)

“A very important book and an invaluable resource for anyone who has experienced depression as well as for those who love them.” (Sharon Salzberg, Co-Founder of the Insight Meditation Society and author of Real Happiness)

“Thorough, credible, and so supportive, this book offers proven strategies for lifting your mood and coming home to your natural happiness. Dr. Goldstein grounds his very practical tools and tips in the latest brain science, and his warmth and wisdom fill every page.” (Rick Hanson, Ph.D., author of Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, and Confidence)

À propos de cette édition

• Éditeur: Atria Books
• Date d'édition: 2015
• ISBN 10: 1451690541
• ISBN 13: 9781451690545
• Reliure: Relié
• Nombre de pages: 320