Pivot: The Art and Science of Reinventing Your Career and Life - Couverture rigide

Markel, Adam

Couverture rigide

ISBN 10 : 1476779473 ISBN 13 : 9781476779478

Editeur : Atria Books, 2016

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Pivot 1

Un-believe

Remember, you can have anything you want if you will give up the belief that you can’t have it.

—DR. ROBERT ANTHONY, AUTHOR

A QUICK question: What do you think the purpose of this book is?

It’s a simple question, and I ask a similar one at seminars around the world: What’s the purpose of our time here today?

So what is it? After all, I know why you picked up this book—it’s because something is wrong. Now I want to know how you think this book will help. What’s its purpose? What do you expect from it?

If you’re like most first-time participants in one of our training events (the veterans know better), your answer will likely be: To learn something. It’s a natural response—most people think that the purpose of a book or a seminar is to learn something. To gain knowledge.

Well, most people are wrong.

The vast majority of what happens in great seminars, and in great books, is unlearning. Those aha! moments you feel in a great training program or during a particularly enlightening passage of a book? They don’t happen because you learned something. They happen because you unlearned—that flash of insight was realizing that something you thought you knew just wasn’t true.

I’m not talking about unlearning facts. Discovering that a tomato is a fruit and not a vegetable won’t change your life much. The unlearning that matters for your pivot is much deeper. It’s not about changing your knowledge.

It’s about changing your beliefs.
Facing the Truth

When I was working as a full-time attorney, profoundly unhappy with my life, I began reading books like the one in your hands right now.

The most fundamental shift in my life happened not when I began to lead transformational training programs or head a company that was aligned with my heart but when those books helped me stop believing things that weren’t true.

I had always believed that the “American dream” was my ticket to fulfillment. I believed that if I put my head down and worked hard at any well-paying profession, I would be happy.

Yet there I was, living the American dream—and miserable.

When I faced the reality that my beliefs weren’t serving me and were in fact hurting me, it was impossible for me to reconcile the paradox. I could no longer believe that the path I was on would lead to happiness, when it so clearly did not. I simply couldn’t believe what I believed any longer.

Faced with that truth, I became unsure of my earlier choices, and I began to truly consider the prospect of pivoting seriously. That moment of “un-believing” is where my journey actually began. And it’s where yours will, too.
You Are What You Believe

To appreciate how profoundly your beliefs affect your life—in fact, to accept that your beliefs create your life—it may be easier to begin with a phenomenon that we’ve all experienced: the placebo effect.

The placebo effect is a benefit we get from a medical treatment that doesn’t actually have any active medicinal substance. A sugar pill for a headache, for example, will often give pain relief. Fake surgeries can outperform some real ones in providing relief, for instance, from knee pain. Just seeing the Apple logo sparks more creative thinking.

The placebo effect is a remarkable thing, and new research shows that we can get benefits even when we know something is a placebo.

Think about that for a moment: I can give you a sugar pill, and I can tell you it’s a sugar pill, but as long as you believe it will work, there’s a decent chance that it will. And by work, I mean that taking that sugar pill will create almost the exact same neurochemical changes in your brain that a real aspirin does. Your body’s biochemistry is changing because you expect it to. Your pain is going away because you believe it will.

Despite decades of study, we still don’t really have a good grasp of how the placebo effect works. But there’s no denying that it does. It’s real, scientifically accepted evidence that what you believe has the power to change your reality.
New and Old Beliefs

If a belief can take away pain or deliver the same results as surgery, what else can it do? Knowing that beliefs create your reality gives you a whole new starting point for beginning to pivot, and that is to stop believing things that don’t serve your reinvention.

Our first step in that process is to drag those limiting beliefs—the pain-inducing, life-limiting myths you might believe—out into the light and expose them for what they are.

The tricky thing about beliefs, though, is that it’s often difficult to even realize we have them. We’ve been conditioned over time to accept things without ever consciously deciding, This is what I believe to be true.

For example, right now you may think:

Entrepreneurs are extroverted.

I have my mother’s hips.

Once you’re past fifty, it’s too late to start again.

These are all beliefs. They’re things that many people choose to accept as fact, but guess what? They aren’t facts. Lots of entrepreneurs are introverts. There’s a mountain of evidence that your genes are not your destiny. And plenty of people reinvent themselves after age fifty. I see it happen all the time.

But, true or not, beliefs can become self-fulfilling prophecies. And that means that everything that is part of your life is there because a belief has supported its existence. A person in an abusive relationship may believe that she is not worthy of love or that he deserves to be punished for reasons going back to childhood. A person who loses money may believe that rich and successful people are greedy or unhappy. A person who works at a job or business she dislikes may believe that she doesn’t have the talent or time or money to be successful in another career.

But beliefs aren’t facts. They’re a choice. You get to pick the ones you want. Why choose ones that don’t serve you?



Before we look at instilling new beliefs—a process you’ll go through during the 21-Day Pivot Plan at the end of Part II of this book—there’s enormous value in taking an inventory of the things that are consciously or unconsciously holding you in place. And although everyone’s life is unique, there are some limiting beliefs that are common to many pivots.

For the six myths that follow, consider how each might be affecting you. You don’t need to “fix” them. You can begin by realizing that beliefs are nothing more than conditioned thoughts you have received through the influential people and experiences in your life.
Myth No. 1: Pivoting is for other people.

I have witnessed more personal transformations than most people will see in a thousand lifetimes. It’s one of the most profound gifts of my own pivot: I now get to watch as people reinvent themselves and come alive.

Of the millions of people who live with the mediocrity of their routines or jobs every day, most back away from facing it. I am fortunate enough to work with people who, instead of retreating, chose to do something.

Guess what’s special about each of them?

Nothing.

That’s right. Nothing.

Without exception, the multitude of pivots I have witnessed are executed by people who are just plain normal. They’re not freakishly lucky, intelligent, or beautiful. They’re not Ivy League, upper-class, or megarich. They’re just . . . normal. They’re so normal that their stories would be boring but for the fact that they have transformed themselves so dramatically.

Plenty of people with less time, money, charm, and savvy than you have pivoted. Like you, they had “normal” lives, and they chose to reinvent themselves. Were they scared to pivot? Yes. Did they have financial challenges? Yes. Time pressures? Yes. Kids, mortgages, careers, car payments, and more? Yes! But they did it anyway, and so can you.

And therein lies the simple secret of reinvention: Those who pivot aren’t extraordinary. They become extraordinary when they decide they will not tolerate the circumstances of their lives for one moment longer.

Does that mean that your obstacles aren’t real? No—broke is broke, a mortgage is a real contract, and your kids are yours (even if there are days when you might wish differently). You don’t need to pretend that your bills aren’t real.

You do, however, need to stop pretending that you aren’t good enough.

Let go of the idea that living the life you want is for someone else. Someone richer, smarter, more talented, or luckier. It’s nonsense. Pivoting isn’t a privilege, a genetic windfall, or a birthright.

Pivoting is a choice.

 PIVOT POINT: You don’t have to be special to pivot. You become special when you decide to.

Becoming extraordinary isn’t a pivot requirement; it’s a result.
Myth No. 2: It’s too risky.

My visit to the emergency room was an incredible stroke of good luck. Many other pivoters have had similar experiences—they’ve experienced an epiphany that has changed the course of their future. For some, it was a car accident; for others, an illness.

But many have not been so lucky. For every person who has a brush with death and wakes up to change her life, there are many who don’t wake up at all.

Maybe you haven’t had your own “ER moment.” Maybe the heart attack or the divorce or the breakdown hasn’t happened.

Don’t wait for it.

If you’re telling yourself that pivoting is too risky, be sure you understand the real risk. Be sure, before we go any further, that you understand the stakes. Because this isn’t about “Wouldn’t it be nice if . . .” This is about watching the life you could have had get further and further away, until it’s so far gone you can no longer see it.

This is about regret. And there is nothing more painful.

Those are the stakes, and they’re real.

Did your stomach just drop? It should have. This is your life we’re talking about. But that’s the best part. It’s your life. You get to change it.

What you’re feeling is normal. That voice urging you to start anew is normal. The myriad signs and conversations and ideas that happen too often to be coincidental—all of that is normal, too. Because the stakes are high. The real risk is in not changing.

You have a chance for a different life. You can have a “second act” in life. Hell, you can have a third, fourth, or fifth act! Have as many as you want.

Have as many as you need. Because that’s the truth about pivoting. You don’t just want to. You don’t just get to. You need to. Because what’s the alternative? Staring into the abyss between you and what you once dreamed you could be? The bitter taste of regret? It’s just not an option.

Do you have any idea what’s at risk?

 PIVOT POINT: The real risk of change isn’t that you might try and fail. It’s that you might not try and you’ll regret it.
Myth No. 3: You have to burn the ships.

Some five hundred years ago, when Hernán Cortés reached the shores of what is now known as Mexico, he faced some very real, very serious obstacles. Conquerors had attempted to colonize the Yucatán before and failed. Cortés, who had only six hundred men and had never actually led anyone in battle before, was behind before he even started, and there was already talk of mutiny. With the odds stacked against him and his men’s morale ebbing, Cortés destroyed his fleet of ships.

“Burning the ships” is what economists call a “commitment device”—a way of overcoming our short-term desires in favor of longer-term ones. When you have money automatically deducted from your paycheck or bank account for retirement, you’re using a commitment device to overcome your short-term desire to spend, for your own long-term good.

Today we don’t really burn or sink ships in a literal sense, but the idea is still with us. Poker stars go “all in” in the hope of crushing an opponent. Athletes give “110 percent.” Entrepreneurs “put it all on the line” or “bet the farm.” We “go out on a limb,” because it’s “all or nothing.”

It’s a pervasive, and persuasive, idea. Over and over we’re told that in order to succeed, we have to (a) take enormous risks and (b) commit completely to our dreams by abandoning our old lives. The idea is reinforced by books, movies, stories, documentaries, and news coverage of people who “risked it all” for fame, fortune, and love.

The trouble is that the idea is nonsense.

It’s not that the stories we hear aren’t true, it’s that they tend to be outliers—the rare “daring-risk” successes that make for great Hollywood tales. In fact, the vast majority of happy, successful people got there by gradually working toward their goals. If poker were the best way to get rich, casinos would be out of business.

Still, the myth is a compelling one—we love the rags-to-riches storyline. But the danger of the myth isn’t that it leads us toward the gambling risk of “all or nothing.” The real danger of the burn-the-boats myth is that it gives us an excuse to stay put. After all, what responsible person would risk everything for a dream? The myth gives you permission to stay right where you are because you’re “doing the right thing.” You’re keeping the food in your kids’ mouths. You’re keeping a roof over your heads. To pursue your dream? To pivot? Why, that would be just plain irresponsible.

And there’s the trap.

In fact, pivoting isn’t about sudden radical change. It’s about:

· Envisioning a realistic way to change your life

· Preserving the parts of your life that serve you

· Creating a clear plan for making sustainable change

Pivoting is not an extreme sport. It’s a real way for real people to change their lives. To view it any other way isn’t part of pivoting—that’s just unnecessary risk.

When I decided I needed to leave the practice of law, and find and follow my true purpose, I didn’t stop being a lawyer the next day. I had a family. A mortgage. Bills to pay. I had responsibilities to staff and clients. To ignore all that and burn the ships would have been disastrous.

Instead, I started exploring what I called my “Purpose-Driven Plan B.” I began to gradually create a bridge from Plan A—the practice of law that I was currently doing—to Plan B, which was to help people find and follow their true purpose.

As that bridge strengthened and grew, I gradually began to dismantle Plan A. I reduced my commitments over time to my clients as I began to grow and learn and develop my skill in Plan B.

Eventually? Plan B became Plan A. No burning of ships or betting of farms required.

The burn-the-boats fallacy might be the most devastating myth because it’s the one that keeps the most people trapped. Are you convinced that you have to quit your secure job to pivot? Spend your life savings? Abandon your friends or family? If you believe those things, pivoting seems impossible. How can you allow yourself to think clearly about changing your life if you feel that you have to risk everything? The answer is that you can’t. As long as you believe that pivoting requires taking extraordinary risks, you’ll never take action.

 PIVOT POINT: Pivoting is not an extreme sport. It’s a step-by-step, realistic way to change your life.

Later in the book we’ll look at when using commitment devices in larger quantities is...

Revue de presse :

“This wonderful book shows you how to get in touch with your real self, decide exactly who you are and what you want, and make your life into a masterpiece.”

(Brian Tracy, author of The Power of Self-Confidence)

“Pivot in your life, pivot in your body and your business. This book will show you how. It all starts with the first step.” (Bob Proctor, bestselling speaker, teacher, and author of Thoughts Are Things)

“Pivot features stories of people just like you that changed their lives by making different choices. Read it and pivot into success.” (Joe Vitale, bestselling author of Zero Limits)

“Is it time for a change? Are you ready to have the life you’ve always wanted? Get this book and learn how to change your life to one you want to live.” (Dr. Joe Rubino, CEO, CenterForPersonalReinvention.com)

Adam Markel is a masterful teacher and visionary who provides practical hope with essential real life skills. Pivot is a game changer that offers insightful principles and refreshing stories that both inspire and instruct. If you're serious about not just making changes in your life, but transforming who you are, this powerful book is a must read." (Marcia Wieder, CEO, Dream University and bestselling author of DREAM)

"Incredible wisdom from Adam Markel in this guidebook for taking charge of your life and realizing your potential."

(Sharon Lechter, CPA CGMA, author of Think and Grow Rich for Women, Co-author of Rich Dad Poor Dad and 14 other Rich Dad Poor Dad books)

"In Pivot, Markel has created a roadmap for honoring the ordinary life by finding one’s extraordinary gifts. I was inspired to more courageously embrace my own reinvention story and trust that I’m on the right track – even when it doesn’t feel that way." (Karen Leland, Columnist Entrepreneur.com and author of The Brand Mapping Strategy)

"With its extraordinary information and practical focus, PIVOT is a must read for anyone who is reinventing their life -- or even thinking about it! Adam has made the reinvention process simple!" (Jill Lublin, Bestselling author, international speaker and Radical Influence Expert)

"Whether you are reclaiming your optimal health, reinventing yourself or rediscovering your passions and joy, Pivot is the perfect book to catapult you into the next stratosphere of your life and new possibility. Markel has done a brilliant job of converging all of his wisdom and genius into a magnificent body of work that we all can benefit from, simply a MUST read." (Lisa Nichols, author of the New York Times bestseller, No Matter What!, and CEO, Motivating the Masses, Inc.)

“Pivot over to the bookstore and let Markel show you how just a tiny change in your thinking will create a massive transformation in your career and life.” (Phil Town, financial adviser and author of the #1 New York Times best seller, Rule #1)

À propos de cette édition

• Éditeur: Atria Books
• Date d'édition: 2016
• ISBN 10: 1476779473
• ISBN 13: 9781476779478
• Reliure: Relié
• Nombre de pages: 288