Dictionary: A book with a Beginning, a Middle and an End - but not in that order.
This Septic Isle is a dictionary that re-defines 21st Century Britain in the wickedest and wittiest way imaginable. In an age where Spin is King, this super-cynical, irreverant reference book finally tells it like it is, not like it isn't and never will be.
With 2,000 entries, ranging from razor-sharp satire to the downright silly, This Septic Isle is the perfect antidote to our irascible era. Politics, pop culture, sport, the Internet, TV, food, the environment, journalism, sex, PR, consumerism, war, religion, Royalty, terrorism, traffic - no subject is safe. No sacred cow is spared a jaunt to the slaughterhouse.
Conservation - Process by which dwindling areas of natural beauty are preserved for future generations to build
Dead - Not answering one's mobile phone or responding to emails
Empathy - The shared understanding between two people on the same pay grade
Epidemic - The rapid and uncontrollable spread of anything contagious through newspapers
Part-time employee - Full-time employee with a smoking habit, a FaceBook page and an ebay account
Refrigerator - Device for keeping salad and vegetables chilled before throwing them away unused
Threatening letters - MRSA, ASBO, OHMS, GBH, HIV, etc.
Wendy House - Play home now banned from schools for giving children unrealistic expectations of future home ownership
Xenophobia - The Englishman's hatred of foreigners - from the Latin words 'xenos' and 'phobos'
Mike Barfield's updated definitions put the spin in the bin and prove there's one area in which beleaguered Britons can still proudly claim to lead the world: laughing at their problems.
Mike Barfield is a writer and cartoonist who has lent his wit to some of the country's most popular TV and radio programmes, writing for performers as diverse as Chris Tarrant, Clive Andersen, Rory Bremner, and Dennis the Menace and Gnasher. His 'Apparently...' cartoon strip has been a regular feature in the pages of Private Eye for the last decade.
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