For a long time I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, my eyes would close so quickly that I had not even time to say "I'm going to sleep." And half an hour later the thought that it was time to go to sleep would awaken me; I would try to put away the book which, I imagined, was still in my hands, and to blow out the light; I had been thinking all the time, while I was asleep, of what I had just been reading, but my thoughts had run into a channel of their own, until I myself seemed actually to have become the subject of my book: a church, a quartet, the rivalry between François I and Charles V. This impression would persist for some moments after I was awake; it did not disturb my mind, but it lay like scales upon my eyes and prevented them from registering the fact that the candle was no longer burning.
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Best translation of Marcel Proust's Du côté de chez Swann
Many years have passed since then. The wall along the staircase on which I saw the approaching light of his candle no longer exists, has not for a long time. In me also, many things have been destroyed, things I believed would last forever, and new things have been erected, giving rise to new pains and new joys I would never have been able to foresee back then,—just as how these old pains and joys have since become difficult to understand. And it has been a long time since my father has been able to say to Momma: "Go with the little one." The possibility of hours like those will never be reborn for me. But as of recent, I have again begun to perceive, very well, if I lend my ear, the sobs I found the strength to contain before my father and which broke out when I found myself alone with Momma again. In reality these sobs never ceased; it is only because my life is getting quieter that I hear them anew, like these bells in convents that the noise of the daytime drowns out so effectively that you think they are no longer rung but that sound out once again in the silence of the night.
Valentin Louis Georges Eugène Marcel Proust (10 July 1871 – 18 November 1922) was a French novelist, critic, and essayist best known for his monumental novel À la recherche du temps perdu (In Search of Lost Time). He was born in Auteuil, Paris at the home of his great-uncle, two months after the Treaty of Frankfurt formally ended the Franco-Prussian War. By the age of nine, Proust had his first serious asthma attack, and thereafter he was considered a sickly child. Despite his poor health, he served a year (1889–90) as an enlisted man in the French army, stationed at Coligny Barracks in Orléans, an experience that provided a lengthy episode in The Guermantes' Way, part three of his novel. He was a closeted homosexual, and was one of the first European novelists to feature homosexuality in his novels, openly and at length. He spent the last three years of his life mostly confined to his cork-lined bedroom, sleeping during the day and working at night to complete his novel. He died of pneumonia and a pulmonary abscess in 1922.
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