The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy

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9781451624359: The Body Language of Dating: Read His Signals, Send Your Own, and Get the Guy

Nationally renowned body language expert Tonya Reiman turns her attention to romance—explaining how to read the signals of your date, your mate, or that cutie across the bar—and never get rejected again!

Are you willing to leave your romantic future to fate, or luck, or the stars? Take the wheel.

THE BODY LANGUAGE OF DATING will teach you all the skills you need to drive your love life home.

·Uncover the secrets of attraction.

·Find out what your nonverbal communication is saying about you.

·Bridge the gap between casual fling and long-term thing.

·Avoid rejection.

·Figure out what your guy is thinking.

·Save yourself time and heartache in your search for love— or at least your next perfect date!

Les informations fournies dans la section « Synopsis » peuvent faire référence à une autre édition de ce titre.

About the Author :

Tonya Reiman is a body language expert who appears weekly on Fox News Channel’s The O’Reilly Factor. A motivational speaker, consultant, and corporate trainer, she has also appeared on Access Hollywood, Extra, Your Morning, Fast Money, New Morning, and several other television shows. In addition, she has been heard on ESPN radio and has contributed to national publications including The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan, Time, Positive Thinking, and New York Newsday. She lives in Long Island with her husband and three children.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved. :

CHAPTER ONE
The Chiseling of Man
HOW EVOLUTION HAS CARVED THE FAMILIAR FORM OF THE HUMAN MALE

Long ago, the returning sun rose over the horizon to give definition to the grassy plains of a sweeping savannah, to four-legged creatures grazing, chasing, and being chased, to winged beings swooping across the sky in search of insects that swarmed around . . . a vastly different, strangely unique creature.

Like a bird, he stood on two legs. Like an ape’s, his musculature was defined and formidable. Like the most cunning of predators, he swept his surroundings with his gaze, his defenses and reflexes sharp. Like the most vulnerable of prey, he stood unprotected upon the harsh, unforgiving plains of what would one day be known as Africa.

But unlike anything else that had ever stamped itself upon that sunrise, he stood taller than most of the savannah’s four-legged creatures. Two of his feet were not feet at all; in fact, they had long, independent digits. His fur was concentrated, creating a wild and unruly silhouette on his head, above a body that was utterly hairless, and naked. His shoulders were wide, his legs were long, his appendages and extremities unlike any yet supported by this vast bio-network.

As strange as early man must have seemed, a unique characteristic still lay hidden beneath that tuft of unkempt, yet useful, hair on his head. His brain would serve as his largest and most effective weapon, his ally in modernization, and his sexiest of organs. Because his environment would demand more and more of his brain, man’s face and stature would change in order to survive.

The changes that have occurred in man’s face and body over millions of years make that early man recognizable to us, but far from familiar.

Evolution is a term that’s loaded with controversy for some, with answers for others, and with a taboo-type intrigue for the rest. To understand the concept of evolving characteristics, you must first consider the many variations of the human form. There are tall statures and short ones; flat ears and those that seem to fear the head; blue eyes and brown ones; red hair and blond; big noses, broad shoulders, full lips, and skinny hips. Every human face and every body is unique.

Evolution is not something that happened autonomously, or without reason. It wasn’t some kind of magical transformation, in which bodies morphed in cut time while the rest of creation stood and watched in awe. Instead, evolution occurred over millions of years as humans effectively eliminated, through mating choices, the bum traits that could have resulted in the extermination of our species.

Note

Clearing Up an Evolutionary Ambiguity

Humans and apes are genetically comparable because they share ancestral similarities.

Your sixteenth cousin, Jethro, isn’t the only ape you have little in common with. In a relative sense, even though the genetic similarities between humans and great apes are more stunning than many of us would care to admit (wouldn’t any of us pick our noses or throw feces at our enemies if it were socially permissible?), humans are still vastly different, more complicated, more intelligent, and more spiritual than the animals that may or may not put cousin Jethro’s sophistication to shame.

Evolution can be viewed through any number of lenses. It can be perceived as something that occurred to assure our species’ survival, as a by-product of sexy mating choices, or as the result of random genetic drift. The facet of the theory on which your beliefs rest can only be determined by you; but no matter your position, the evidence that points toward evolution is difficult, if not impossible, to deny.

Today’s men, on average, are 30 percent stronger than their female counterparts. Males generally carry about 12.5 percent body fat, while females (often reluctantly) hold on to percentages right around 25. The typical male’s body boasts 56 pounds of muscle, while the female’s sports a healthy, but less significant, 30 pounds. A healthy male can lift twice his own body weight, thanks to lungs, a heart, bones, and muscles that outweigh a female’s. On average, he’s 7 percent taller and 10 percent weightier than a female.

Many of the human male’s gifts, aside from the obvious, are evident within the womb, and particularly right after birth. Maternity staff members often note higher hemoglobin counts, longer body measurements, heavier birth weights, higher resting metabolisms, and more lively movements from the little tykes. Likewise, human male children show a propensity for horseplay, have a seemingly insatiable curiosity, and have a better visual acuteness for snails and puppy dog tails than their sugar-and-spice-and-everything-nice counterparts. It seems that, even from the womb, the human male is being prepared for the tough jobs that his ancestors had assigned him.

Millions of years ago, females, due mostly in part to their childbearing roles, were needed back at the home caves to raise children, to gather berries and other nonviolent foods, and to keep the bedrocks warm. They were simply too indispensable in the raising of future generations to put into the field, for hunting and fighting.

Men could inseminate their women and then move on to provide for the tribe. Men were drawn to the harsh savannahs in search of food and conquests; they were subjected to harsh weather, injury, and stress. The male bodies that were best built to survive these environmental traumas lived to procreate and pass their survival features along to their offspring. This ideal demonstrates Charles Darwin’s theory of natural selection. Darwin maintained, as much of the scientific community does today, that features have survived because they offered some benefit to their bearers. Many of the human male’s features that we recognize today are in place because they allowed those human males not only to live through a tough day in the field, but to come home and make more babies who would carry on robust survival features.

That’s why distinctly male features have survived—because they worked, and they still do.

Let’s begin with the feature that not only allowed human males to stand erect and to run from predators that could have easily wiped out mankind, but also now keeps establishments that specialize in everything from wide widths to size fourteens to odor-absorbing insoles in business.

Biological evidence points to the male foot taking a walk on the wild side. If I could name the most neglected portion of the male form, it might be the foot. Why? Because the foot does not contain any major organs, it isn’t part of any thought-provoking or sexually stimulating tasks (apart from the foot fetish), and it’s generally considered to be unpleasant and merely deserving of being tucked away in a sock with an Odor-Eater and the promise of eventual ventilation.

Note

Big Toes, Big Evolutionary Trade-offs

When you consider the size of humans’ feet in comparison to their tall statures and significant weights, any engineer might believe that they would topple over at a mere friendly slap on the back. A clown with long, bulging shoes looks to be in better balance, proportionately, than the standard-footed human—until, of course, you consider the function of the big toe.

When humans’ predecessors moved from branches to earth, toes that could balance and propel were much more useful than toes that could efficiently peel fruit. Opposable big toes posed serious balance issues for terrestrial walkers, and those with these outward appendages rarely made it out of the starting gate. Early humans needed mobility and speed in order to survive the harsh environments of their nonarboreal (non-tree-dwelling) existence. That’s why today’s human is able to use nicely aligned big toes to push off every time he or she takes a step—because natural selection effectively weeded out those terrestrial-only bipeds who had no such ability.

Note

Body Watch: The forward-pointing big toe tells us a bit about man’s evolution; and now the direction in which his feet point will tell you of his mind’s desire. Because he doesn’t consciously control the direction in which his feet aim, they’re terrific indicators of his subconscious intentions. If his feet are pointing toward you, he’s interested.

A man’s arch is generally higher than a woman’s. This is likely due to early man’s need for a spring-loaded step while bounding away from danger and pouncing onto prey and enemies.

Humans are unique in that they walk on their entire foot. Most other mammals use only the toes or balls of their feet (picture a dog’s foot). For this reason, the arch was necessary for comfortable walking . . . which inevitably led to longer and more productive walking.

Of course, we can’t forget the struggling podiatrist’s dream: stinky feet. Because men have larger feet, they also have more sweat glands in those feet. And when those manly boats are in their slips, or shoes, for too long, a bounty of smells, including cabbage, cheese, fish, and sulfur, are summoned. Products of metabolic functions of sweat-loving bacteria, these smells are far from pleasant, but your boyfriend’s bouquet is, in fact, the effect of an ancient and useful tracking device.

Consider this: Would you be able to tell, blindfolded, whether it’s your brother or your boyfriend who’s taken off his Nikes?

That’s because each human’s chemistry harbors a different concoction of odor-causing bacteria. Though foot smell can be identified in general, it does vary from pers...

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Description du livre SIMON SCHUSTER, United States, 2013. Paperback. État : New. Reprint. Language: English . Brand New Book. Nationally renowned body language expert Tonya Reiman turns her attention to romance-explaining how to read the signals of your date, your mate, or that cutie across the bar-and never get rejected again! Are you willing to leave your romantic future to fate, or luck, or the stars? Take the wheel. THE BODY LANGUAGE OF DATING will teach you all the skills you need to drive your love life home. *Uncover the secrets of attraction. *Find out what your nonverbal communication is saying about you. *Bridge the gap between casual fling and long-term thing. *Avoid rejection. *Figure out what your guy is thinking. *Save yourself time and heartache in your search for love- or at least your next perfect date!. N° de réf. du libraire FLT9781451624359

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