People frequently come to therapy and coaching believing that they are broken. They have been told this by parents, friends, family, partner, teachers and finally therapist, counsellors, and doctors. Caregivers, partners, well-meaning people tell them that they feel these things because they make bad choices, or they have these negative experiences because they are broken. Over the past 33 years, I have worked with thousands of people and the vast majority of them are not broken. They are just missing skills. I will say this again so it begins to sink in: You are not broken. You are missing skills. This book is made up of education about the skills, examples and plans to learn the skills complete with exercises. Why are skills so important? The a person lack skills they are set up to experience difficult situations throughout their lives. I have dedicated a chunk to the results gaslighting because this abusive behaviour robs people of some of the most essential skills, sets them up for emotional abuse, intimate partner violence, rape, sexual violence and physical abuse/assault later in life. These skills make it possible for us to integrate well with others, keep a solid sense of self, self-worth and have relationships that bring all parties joy.
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Dr Lori Beth Bisbey is a psychologist, sex & intimacy coach, author, international speaker & podcast host who has been helping people since the late 1980's resolve trauma and recover from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, create & maintain meaningful relationships with sizzling sex (without shame). She has specialities in treatment of PTSD & GSRD (Gender, Sex, Relationship Diversity). Dr Bisbey has hosted The A to Z of Sex(R) podcast weekly since October 2016. Her first book, 'Brief Therapy for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Traumatic Incident Reduction and Related Techniques' (co-authored with her first husband Stephen Bisbey) came out with Wiley & Sons in 1998. Since 1991, she has taught mental health professionals how to work with a variety of populations and conditions. Since 1993, she has taught a variety of workshops on relationship skills, emotional skills, alternative relationship styles, and various aspects of sex and sexuality. She has two main missions: To help people move from victim to surviving and then beyond into thriving. To take sex and conversations about sex from the shadows to the light. Dr Bisbey speaks internationally on trauma, sex, & relationships. Dr Bisbey identifies as a queer polyamorous leather woman. She lives in the UK with her husband, son, and two dogs.
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