Sometimes a fellow just doesn't fit in, at least in the usual places. Sometimes he finds a sense of belonging elsewhere--on the edges of a pond, in a championship wrestling match, in a meandering stream. Sometimes it takes a thousand repetitions before "Something" connects. And then it does.
Thoughts From the Author
It was a strange experience to write about my own life. In trying to understand myself, I did not always posses perfect clarity. Although at times I felt silly writing about my own life I found that the best way to have conviction in my writing was to draw from my own experiences, thoughts, and faith. It was like looking into a deep pool and not being certain if the dark forms would ever emerge from the bottom to take my fly. In this book I have put forth heartfelt existential questions. Who am I? Where do I belong? Does God intervene? Where is Eden? Since I was a child first learning to fly cast I have wrestled with these questions and found relief from this existential anxiety in fly fishing.
This is not a ‘how to’ book. I hope that this book encourages people to move past the stage of how many fish they catch or how big the fish are towards a deeper understanding of fly fishing as a meditative art that has the power to illuminate and inform our spiritual existences. To me, there is Something more, even if it always eludes me. There are longings for Eden, Love, and connection to Something I cannot name or describe but that forever haunts me and urges me onward. When I am on the river I am hardly ever just “fly fishing”.
This is not a spiritual self-help book. It may not help you to be happy or successful. However you might find some comfort in knowing there is someone out there who struggles with loneliness and a sense of belonging. I tried to capture my deepest thoughts and feelings while standing in a river or walking the banks of a pond. I often felt the paradox of being connected (sometimes to fish) and other times completely lost. At times I belonged and at other times I felt excluded. Yet, I keep walking the river. I keep casting my longings out onto the wind hoping for a response. And sometimes, I connect.
I am humbled to share my life and thoughts with you as fly fisher and guide.
Anthony Surage
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