What I Said at Work vs. What I Wanted to Say
Ever written “Just following up” when what you really meant was, “I have followed up three times already”?
Ever sat through a meeting that absolutely could have been an email?
Welcome to the unofficial translation guide for corporate life.
What I Said at Work vs. What I Wanted to Say turns the everyday language of offices into the conversations we’re all secretly having in our heads.
Inside, you’ll find hilarious translations of:
• Meetings that were supposed to be “quick”
• Emails that become increasingly polite and increasingly dangerous
• Boss phrases like “Take ownership” and “Be more proactive”
• Coworker classics like “No worries” and “Do you have a minute?”
• HR phrases such as “Let’s have a conversation”
• Corporate jargon nobody remembers agreeing to use
• Performance reviews filled with compliments and fine print
• Remote-work disasters, muted microphones, and suspicious “connection issues”
• Deadlines, revisions, scope creep, and the legendary “small change”
Each situation explores four versions of workplace communication:
WHAT I WANTED TO SAY → WHAT I ACTUALLY SAID → WHAT THEY HEARD → CORPORATE TRANSLATION
Sharp, relatable, and deliberately office-friendly, this is for anyone who has ever smiled through a meeting while thinking something completely different.
Because at work, professionalism isn't always about saying what you mean.
Sometimes it's about finding the funniest way to translate it.
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