Dan was a featherweight man who wore three undershirts and sucked air into his chest to look “ordinary.” To hide his “ugly” veins, he always wore full-sleeve shirts. He fancied wearing an astronaut’s suit to appear plump. One day, green grass replaced Dan’s hair, roots grew out of his feet and the ugly veins became xylem and phloem. People thought he had become a superzero, whose head was just good for grasshoppers to play trampoline on, or cows to drool at, and that his roots were for the potatoes to wink at. Even his family assumed he was still the super-lazy, mismatched-socks man who used a dryer to iron his shirt and let the Halloween pumpkin sit on his porch till February. When the Earth is under attack, and all human weapons fail, the world counts on Dan. He is rooted but not defeated, the small-town Pennsylvania superhero: The Grassman.
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