“Brilliant and painful and hilarious.” —Antonya Nelson
On October 17, 2002, David MacLean “woke up” on a train platform in India with no idea who he was or why he was there. No money. No passport. No identity.
Taken to a mental hospital by the police, MacLean then started to hallucinate so severely he had to be tied down. Soon he could remember song lyrics, but not his family, his friends, or the woman he was told he loved. All of these symptoms, it turned out, were the result of the commonly prescribed malarial medication he had been taking. Upon his return to the States, he struggled to piece together the fragments of his former life in a harrowing, absurd, and unforgettable journey back to himself.
The Answer to the Riddle Is Me, drawn from David MacLean’s award-winning This American Life essay, is a deeply felt, closely researched, and intensely personal book. It asks every reader to confront the essential questions of our age: In our geographically and chemically fluid world, what makes me who I am? And how much can be stripped away before I become someone else entirely?
"A mesmerizing, unsettling memoir about the ever-echoing nature of identity, written in vivid, blooming detail."
—Gillian Flynn, author of
Gone Girl "MacLean fearlessly explores his journey to the edge of madness and his subsequent return to sanity in an unsettling, sometimes riotous, memoir."
—
Publishers Weekly "
The Answer to the Riddle Is Me is a harrowing account of a vanishing. What makes the book extraordinary is that the vanished person is the author himself. Beautifully written and exquisitely structured, it captures the adventure and torment of losing one’s memory while investigating the ultimate significance of identity. What does it mean to be the person you are? How much can be stripped away before you are no longer you? This is a thrilling, fascinating book that resides in the mind as if you lived it yourself."
—Robert Boswell, author of
Tumbledown,
The Heyday of the Insensitive Bastards, and
The Half-Known World "What begins as a noirish recounting of a life-changing reaction to an antimalarial drug quickly turns into a meditation on the inexplicable web of relations and contingencies that constitute a self: a singular yet shared human life. One’s own relation to this self, this life—and how to experience that relation as bearable—becomes David Stuart MacLean’s true subject. While his experience is unlucky indeed, the luck becomes ours as he takes us with him on his harrowing journey, which is rendered with exactitude, humor, and lyricism."
—Maggie Nelson
"David Maclean's highly engaging
The Answer to the Riddle Is Me is a true tale of amnesia, but, more than that, it is a story of having identity violently ripped away in a huge neurological chunk. Then we witness the writer's faltering salvage, reconstruction, and growing up. MacLean goes deep into the shadowy, scary terrain of what "who" is— the existential and neurochemical as well as the psychological nature of the self. Thoughtful, terribly honest, often funny, and utterly un-self indulgent, this is a riveting work of narrative art."
—Tony Hoagland, author of
Unincorporated Persons in the Late Honda Dynasty and
What Narcissism Means to Me "Everyone is about to know who the hell David Staurt Maclean is: a writer who can break your heart, terrify you, and make you laugh all on the same page. The Answer To The Riddle Is Me is a masterful exploration of the funhouse of identity."
—Mat Johnson, author of Pym
Praise for The Answer to the Riddle is Me:
"A gripping medical mystery, a heartwarming personal journey, and a chilling indictment of the commonly prescribed drug that upended MacLean's life—but left his superb literary skills intact."
—Rebecca Skloot, New York Times bestselling author of The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
"A mesmerizing, unsettling memoir about the ever-echoing nature of identity—written in vivid, blooming detail."
—Gillian Flynn, New York Times bestselling author of Gone Girl
"MacLean fearlessly explores his journey to the edge of madness and his subsequent return to sanity in an unsettling, sometimes riotous, memoir."
—Publishers Weekly
"A deeply moving account of amnesia that explores the quandary of the self . . . MacLean has written a memoir that combines the evocative power of William Styron's ‘Darkness Visible,’ the lyric subtlety of Michael Ondaatje's ‘Running in the Family’ and the narrative immediacy of a Hollywood action film. He reminds us how we are all always trying to find a version of ourselves that we can live with."
—Los Angeles Times
"incandescent...MacLean’s account is raw and unsparing, and will surely take you out of your comfort zone — the reader is immersed in the writer’s oblivion and his vertiginous journey of recovery — but the reward for sticking with it is the privilege of reading MacLean’s profound and finely nuanced meditation on memory and identity."
—The Seattle Times
"What does it mean to be the person you are? How much can be stripped away before you are no longer you? This is a fascinating book that resides in the mind as if you lived it yourself. "
—Robert Boswell, author of Tumbledown
"Thoughtful, terribly honest, often funny, and utterly un-self-indulgent, this is a riveting work of narrative art."
—Tony Hoagland, author of What Narcissism Means to Me
"A compelling personal account and a frightful caution to physicians and travelers who continue to place their faith in a very dangerous drug."
—Dr. Remington L. Nevin, MPH, Mefloquine expert
"Brilliant and painful and hilarious."
—Antonya Nelson, author Some Fun
"David Stuart MacLean is a writer who can break your heart, terrify you, and make you laugh all on the same page. The Answer to The Riddle is Me is a masterful exploration of the funhouse of identity."
—Mat Johnson, author of Pym
"While MacLean's experience is unlucky indeed, the luck becomes ours as he takes us with him on his harrowing journey, which is rendered with exactitude, humor, and lyricism."
—Maggie Nelson, author of The Art of Cruelty: A Reckoning
Praise for The Answer to the Riddle is Me:
"A gripping medical mystery, a heartwarming personal journey, and a chilling indictment of the commonly prescribed drug that upended MacLean's life—but left his superb literary skills intact."
—Rebecca Skloot, New York Times bestselling author of The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
"A mesmerizing, unsettling memoir about the ever-echoing nature of identity—written in vivid, blooming detail."
—Gillian Flynn, New York Times bestselling author of Gone Girl
"MacLean fearlessly explores his journey to the edge of madness and his subsequent return to sanity in an unsettling, sometimes riotous, memoir."
—Publishers Weekly
"A deeply moving account of amnesia that explores the quandary of the self . . . MacLean has written a memoir that combines the evocative power of William Styron's ‘Darkness Visible,’ the lyric subtlety of Michael Ondaatje's ‘Running in the Family’ and the narrative immediacy of a Hollywood action film. He reminds us how we are all always trying to find a version of ourselves that we can live with."
—Los Angeles Times
"What does it mean to be the person you are? How much can be stripped away before you are no longer you? This is a fascinating book that resides in the mind as if you lived it yourself. "
—Robert Boswell, author of Tumbledown
"Thoughtful, terribly honest, often funny, and utterly un-self-indulgent, this is a riveting work of narrative art."
—Tony Hoagland, author of What Narcissism Means to Me
"A compelling personal account and a frightful caution to physicians and travelers who continue to place their faith in a very dangerous drug."
—Dr. Remington L. Nevin, MPH, Mefloquine expert
"Brilliant and painful and hilarious."
—Antonya Nelson, author Some Fun
"David Stuart MacLean is a writer who can break your heart, terrify you, and make you laugh all on the same page. The Answer to The Riddle is Me is a masterful exploration of the funhouse of identity."
—Mat Johnson, author of Pym
"While MacLean's experience is unlucky indeed, the luck becomes ours as he takes us with him on his harrowing journey, which is rendered with exactitude, humor, and lyricism."
—Maggie Nelson, author of The Art of Cruelty: A Reckoning
.
Praise for The Answer to the Riddle is Me:
"A gripping medical mystery, a heartwarming personal journey, and a chilling indictment of the commonly prescribed drug that upended MacLean's life—but left his superb literary skills intact."
—Rebecca Skloot, New York Times bestselling author of The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
"A mesmerizing, unsettling memoir about the ever-echoing nature of identity—written in vivid, blooming detail."
—Gillian Flynn, New York Times bestselling author of Gone Girl
"MacLean fearlessly explores his journey to the edge of madness and his subsequent return to sanity in an unsettling, sometimes riotous, memoir."
—Publishers Weekly
"What does it mean to be the person you are? How much can be stripped away before you are no longer you? This is a fascinating book that resides in the mind as if you lived it yourself. "
—Robert Boswell, author of Tumbledown
"Thoughtful, terribly honest, often funny, and utterly un-self-indulgent, this is a riveting work of narrative art."
—Tony Hoagland, author of What Narcissism Means to Me
"A compelling personal account and a frightful caution to physicians and travelers who continue to place their faith in a very dangerous drug."
—Dr. Remington L. Nevin, MPH, Mefloquine expert
"Brilliant and painful and hilarious."
—Antonya Nelson, author Some Fun
"David Stuart MacLean is a writer who can break your heart, terrify you, and make you laugh all on the same page. The Answer to The Riddle is Me is a masterful exploration of the funhouse of identity."
—Mat Johnson, author of Pym
"While MacLean's experience is unlucky indeed, the luck becomes ours as he takes us with him on his harrowing journey, which is rendered with exactitude, humor, and lyricism."
—Maggie Nelson, author of The Art of Cruelty: A Reckoning
This American Life piece (on which this book is based) was a "Notable" in Dave Eggers’s Best American Non-Required Reading 2011;
Winner of PEN/American Center Award for Best Emerging Non-Fiction Writer (2011)
Emerging Artist Grant - Houston Arts Alliance (2010)
The Missouri Review Editor’s Prize in Non-Fiction – Runner-up (2009)
Inprint/Alexander Prize in Non-Fiction in Honor of Andrea White ( $10,000 Award for Best Piece of Non-Fiction at the University of Houston - 2009)
Bread Loaf Writers' Conference: Work-study Scholar (2007);
Jesse Jones Fellowship: University of Houston (2004);
Fulbright Scholar: Hyderabad, India (2002-2003)
