What's In Your Bag?: Unpacking One Item at a Time

WHAT’S IN YOUR BAG is a rhetorical question that I pose to everyone. Somewhere in my psyche, I’m forever wondering how to better the him in me. I have become preoccupied with trying to understand the pathology of the things that I do. As I study my pathology, I cannot separate the fact that my African lineage has been filled with love, trust, abuse, abandonment, compassion and every other emotion that one can imagine. Being a product of African descent, I’ve noticed that historically we have communal spirits. We have an innate need to be social with others. It matters not whether it’s a stranger or a friend. We gravitate towards community.How often have you heard the African Proverb, “It takes a village to raise a child?” That proverb has been the cornerstone of many cultures throughout the world. Within its fabric, there are many participants who have kept our villages together. Being a product of Africans who are generationally embedded in the United States, I’ve come to realize that our villages are falling apart at the seams. Historically, our very families have been the focus of governmental systematic attacks that have deteriorated the structural, emotional and spiritual seams that have kept us together. Until we have honest dialogue that addresses the issues; restore structure; identify our purpose, and reinstitute love as a foundation of our community, then will we begin to see positive change.It was my Dad who often gave me lessons on my history as an American who is of African descent. He wanted me to have a clear understanding of who I was in society. He always told me that the history books that we studied in our classrooms were filled with many misrepresentations, as well as having intentionally voided stories. He explained the historical beauty of who we were as Kings and Queens of the Nubian Kingdoms; and how we were burdened by atrocities at the hands of others. He would say, “You can’t possibly know where you’re going if you don’t know where you come from.” While my Dad gave me this rich history of who we are as a people, it would take professional psychological help for me to understand who I am as a man. Often, I am reminded of Clinical Psychologist John Bradshaw’s Infancy Exercise where he says, “writing a letter to the child that lives within you helps you to finish the unfinished so that you can go on with your life.” We all have a child who lives within us that occupies our adult bodies. John Bradshaw shows us the pathology of our past while giving us an understanding of how we perform in our present. Through his many techniques of channeling the child within, and my personal sessions with forensic psychotherapist Shelly Neiderbach, who showed me my Invisible Wounds; I was able to trace my emotional scars and begin to heal. While this may be the method that I used for healing and understanding my thought process, it is also my recommended process to all who seek to enrich their lives by growing mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If you were to take my story, which is comprised of so many of your stories, you’ll find that we all carry bags of DNA; with a lineage of good and bad items that range from love to atrocities. This book is not designed to be a feel good experience for you. It is intended for you to become inspired to live beyond your fears, and explore the possibilities of forgiveness and love so that you can stop functioning and begin living. It is my hope that once you read this book and study the methods that I used to heal my soul and spirit, you too will be free. Make sure that you pass it on to someone else so that they can begin their process of healing. William Michael Barbee