The Beginner's Guide to Insight Meditation

Book by Weisman Arinna Smith Jean

Chapter 1

1. The Possibility of Change: A Cinderella Story

When I was a child, the Cinderella story made me distinctly uncomfortable. So did Anne of Green Gables. Here were these images of people who were just too good to be true: They were generous, they were sweet, they were diligent, they worked hard, they were compassionate, they never seemed angry or judgmental or shaming or hating. At some level, I longed to be like them, but I felt that I was more like Cinderella's ugly sisters: They were jealous of each other, they were nasty, they were competitive, and they were social climbers. They thought that they were not good enough, and yet they were self-consciously proud. Not until many years later did I learn that within the practice of Insight Meditation I could embrace such seemingly contradictory feelings with peace and even affection. - AW

Many people experience this rift within themselves. Sometimes we feel anger, jealousy, envy, and desire like Cinderella's ugly sisters, who will eventually be relegated to the dim kitchen in the Prince's palace or to a dark place in our hearts. At the same time, we yearn to have the qualities of Cinderella and the Prince-beauty, virtue, generosity-and to live happily ever after. The good news is that no matter how powerfully we may feel torn between such conflicting feelings, the Buddhist tradition known as Insight Meditation, or Vipassana, invites us to heal that division.

Insight Meditation teachings do not demand that we live life as an eternal bliss trip by judging or cutting off what feels difficult or negative. That is simply not a realistic expectation for any human being. Instead, when energies such as anger, hatred, doubt, and anxiety-traditionally called the hindrances in this practice (chapter 3)-arise, we can learn to hold them in our hearts with kindness and with acceptance. We acknowledge them and even honor them, saying, "Aha, here are these energies inside me. May I hold them with kindness. May I hold them with softness." That conscious relationship-it is like Cinderella and the ugly sisters merged-is where transformation happens.

If we could not envision how we would like to live and if we did not have the perseverance to make that vision a reality, we could not change. One of our greatest advantages as human beings is that as long as we are alive, we can change.

This capacity feels to me like such a critical piece because when I was growing up I was not very happy. I was quite shut down and judgmental. I'm not saying this out of any sense of shame -- it is just a pure acknowledgment of how I was, of how unhappy I was. If it were not for the possibility of change, I would still be caught in those negative energies. - AW

Even though we sometimes feel as if we are being clutched by hurtful energies, the fundamentally good part of our nature is always there and can be awakened. The heart of Insight Meditation calls upon our inner potential for wisdom, kindness, illumination, and a deep sense of connection to the beauty of all life. When this potential unfurls without obstruction, we are free-free of suffering, living with happiness that is not dependent on any particular thing, experience, or circumstance. This is our possibility. It is not just theoretical or something we are asked to accept on blind faith. Proof of it exists in the lives of our spiritual teachers and people such as the Buddha, Mahatma Gandhi, Hildegard of Bingen, Nelson Mandela, Aung San Suu Kyi, and the Dalai Lama.

Nelson Mandela elegantly invited us to express our possibility in his 1994 inaugural speech as president of South Africa.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deep fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people will not feel insecure around you.
We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to be the same.
As we are liberated from our own fears, our presence automatically liberates others.

The Nature of Suffering in Our Lives

Insight Meditation teachings recognize the challenges we face in living as human beings and the reality that we often experience pain and sometimes tremendous suffering. Suffering does not mean we are failures or awful persons or should feel ashamed about what is happening to us. The process of healing begins when we acknowledge our suffering and explore it, when we admit what is happening-and accept it.

As we open to our lives, we face the difficulty of illness. Some of us lose our health in a permanent way, for example, through cancer, heart disease, or arthritis. We all undergo the process of aging. Our bodies disintegrate in different ways and at different rates, but the changes due to aging are unavoidable and often painful. And we will all die-a scary prospect for many of us.

For some of us, our deepest challenges may be not physical but emotional, as psychic wounds keep opening up and bringing suffering. Even when no great difficulties are confronting us, a general sense of dissatisfaction may permeate us. We may believe things are going well, but we may still feel unfulfilled, or that we are not living our deepest purpose, or even that our life is out of control.

The Buddha said that we cannot deny these difficulties. It would be foolish and unrealistic to even try, for we would just be repressing a part of ourselves. Insight Meditation is not about repression; nor is it about splitting ourselves off from ourselves or pretending to be some sort of perfect spiritual model that excludes half of our lives. This practice, rather, is about relating to ourselves as we are. It is about saying, "Okay, let me find a way to work with these difficulties. How do I do that?" The Buddha said, "This is the way," and he laid out teachings so that we could live with the challenges of life and still find happiness. The teachings are revolutionary because they acknowledge our difficulties and in doing so inspire us to embrace a spiritual practice that can bring us peace.

You may have picked up this book because you know, at some level, that this is the moment for you to seek your spiritual truth. Or perhaps your life partner just died, you lost a job that was very important to you, or you have developed a chronic physical disability or experienced some other huge challenge. You say to yourself, "I know I cannot pretend this did not happen. Of course it happened. But how do I live with peace and equanimity? How can I live with kindness to myself?" Within Insight Meditation practice there are answers to these kinds of questions.

Our first step together could be to take the Refuges.

The Three Refuges

Over the centuries many people seeking the path of awakening, happiness, and freedom have begun their commitment by a practice known as taking the Three Refuges. But this practice is much more than a historical ritual. It is an affirmation of our capacity to change. It acknowledges, first, that there is a possibility of our awakening; second, that there is a way of living or practicing that can create the conditions for this awakening; and third, that we are not alone in this endeavor-we are joined and supported by thousands of other beings and communities.

Some phrases for taking the refuges are:

May I take refuge in my capacity to awaken.
May I take refuge in the ways of living that bring about my freedom and happiness.
May I take refuge in those who are fully awakened and feel open to all those who can support me on this path of freedom.

Taking the First Refuge means taking refuge in our fundamental Buddha-nature, with its potential for enlightenment. Taking the Second Refuge means taking refuge in the teachings that awaken this nature (known as the Dharma). Taking the Third Refuge means taking refuge in those who are fully awakened and opening to the community that practices together (known as the Sangha), which provides a resting place that is safe, nourishing, and transformative.

We often find ourselves taking refuge in other things that we think are going to bring us happiness. We have been taught that happiness comes about through having, owning, and accumulating. If we have a serviceable car, we might still find ourselves desiring a better model. We may wish for a new house, longer vacations in more beautiful places, or better relationships. These things are not bad, but they do not bring lasting happiness. A lasting happiness is one that illuminates our being whether we have a nice car or not, better furniture or not, a longer vacation or not. This possibility of achieving a lasting happiness that is not dependent on any thing or circumstance is called our fundamental nature, or Buddha-nature.

Taking the First Refuge means acknowledging that we have the capacity to be happy in this way. It is a treasure we carry in our hearts, more valuable, the Buddha said, than the most precious jewels in the world, than all the treasures of royalty. This happiness is not born of greed or hatred. It is not the kind of happiness someone might feel if they have longed for something and through treachery finally gotten it. It is not the kind of happiness people feel who gain power over others and can make them do exactly what they want. This kind of happiness, rather, comes from deep kindness and respect for all beings and all life. It comes with a clear wisdom that always sees what is skillful, appropriate, timely, and true. This happiness lives in a heart that has no boundaries of "us" and "them" but comes through our intimate connection with all of life. It is a happines...