Born for Love: Why Empathy Is Essential--and Endangered

The groundbreaking exploration of the power of empathy by renowned child-psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry, coauthor, with Oprah Winfrey, of What Happened to You?

“Empathy, and the ties that bind people into relationships, are key elements of happiness. Born for Love is truly fascinating.” — Gretchen Rubin, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project

From birth, when babies' fingers instinctively cling to those of adults, their bodies and brains seek an intimate connection, a bond made possible by empathy—the ability to love and to share the feelings of others.

In this provocative book, psychiatrist Bruce D. Perry and award-winning science journalist Maia Szalavitz interweave research and stories from Perry's practice with cutting-edge scientific studies and historical examples to explain how empathy develops, why it is essential for our child development into healthy adults, and how modern parenting can raise kids with empathy while navigating threats from technological change and other forces in the modern world.

Perry and Szalavitz show that compassion underlies the qualities that make society work—trust, altruism, collaboration, love, charity—and how difficulties related to empathy are key factors in social problems such as war, crime, racism, and mental illness. Even physical health, from infectious diseases to heart attacks, is deeply affected by the neurobiology of our human connections to one another.

As Born for Love reveals, recent changes in technology, child-rearing practices, education, and lifestyles are starting to rob children of necessary human contact and deep relationships—the essential foundation for empathy and a caring, healthy society. Sounding an important warning bell, Born for Love offers practical ideas for combating the negative influences of modern life and fostering positive social change to benefit us all. This compelling guide to brain development reveals how and why the brain learns to bond with others—and is a stirring call to protect our children from new threats to their capacity to love.

Combining cutting-edge neuroscience with unforgettable stories, Born for Love explains:

• The Neurobiology of Connection: How our brains are hardwired for love and why human relationships are essential for both physical and mental health, from infancy into adulthood.
• Child-Rearing for a Compassionate Society: How modern lifestyles, technology, and changing educational practices can threaten a child’s capacity for empathy, and what parents and educators can do to foster resilience.
• The Science of Empathy: The fascinating link between empathy and major social issues like crime, racism, and war, explained through cutting-edge research and unforgettable stories from Dr. Perry’s clinical practice.
• Fostering Positive Social Change: Practical, science-backed ideas for combating the negative influences of modern life and building a more caring, connected, and healthy society for everyone.

Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D., is the senior fellow of the ChildTrauma Academy (www.ChildTrauma.org), a not-for-profit organization based in Houston that is dedicated to improving the lives of high-risk children, and he is an adjunct professor of psychiatry at the Northwestern University School of Medicine in Chicago. He is the author, with Maia Szalavitz, of The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog, a bestselling book based on his work with maltreated children.

Maia Szalavitz is the author of Help at Any Cost: How the Troubled-Teen Industry Cons Parents and Hurts Kids (Riverhead, 2006), which led to state investigations into the industry as well as federal legislation. She is a senior fellow at media watchdog STATS.org and has written for the New York Times, Elle, Time magazine online, and the Washington Post.