Don't Give Up: Unexpected Answers to Marital Challenges

Are you a man with marital challenges who believes your search for answers has taken you in wrong directions? Then this book is for you. At this crossroads, here you will find answers and embrace this season, uncovering what this season can teach you. Identify what needs to be felt. Hear what needs to be heard. Grow where you need to grow. Learn to express your hurts in a healthy manner in your relationship. You can start changing today?one moment, one decision, one action at a time. You'll learn how to restart your life and rebuild your marriage through changes that begin with you and in you, where it is then reflected in your actions, your responses, and eventually in your relationships. Learn to be all you can be in your marriage, your life and discover your life purposes along the way. Don't let this time in your life be wasted. Eventually you will see it was both the worst of times and the best of times. A new life, in which you discover life's truths about healthy relationships, giving you peace and victory over the challenges you faced. DON'T GIVE UP! (see Kirkus Review) Unexpected Answers to Marital Challenges By Gary Hoffman (Author) Hoffman, a leader of Men on the Edge Ministry, a support group that encourages spiritual leadership in troubled marriages, offers specific advice on how to mend a relationship on the rocks. Kirkus' Review DON'T GIVE UP! Hoffman, a leader of Men on the Edge Ministry, a support group that encourages spiritual leadership in troubled marriages, offers specific advice on how to mend a relationship on the rocks. Putting God in the center of one’s life, applying his word (as read in the Bible) in daily life and bringing Christian marriage principles into one’s relationship are at the heart of this guide to knitting up the raveled sleeve of a marriage—and must be applied to any marriage, in Hoffman’s estimation, if it is to prosper. Though God remains the guiding force throughout—and there are biblical quotations aplenty to serve as guideposts if readers are to take that path—readers who don’t subscribe to any religion may still find lots to learn from the author’s insights. Much of what he says is deeply inclusive in nature, and the modes to deploy his words are many. Consider what Hoffman has to say about listening: “God gave us two ears and one mouth. Maybe he wants us to listen twice as much as we speak.” The author advises that when listening to one’s wife, one should face her squarely, lean in, relax his body language and make eye contact, and her partner should try to understand and value her feelings: “This is called empathy and women love it!” His delineation of bad behavior—manipulative, controlling, demanding and resentful behavior; conditional love and inappropriate anger; revenge and placing the blame on others—is raw, instructive and will likely hit plenty of familiar notes with readers. The discussions of joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control all have spiritual tones, but even nonreligious readers will see the value in these qualities. Hoffman’s moral foundation finds all these behaviors to be necessary by any rubric, and the author’s understanding of pain and suffering also offers solace to imponderable grievances. He cuts no corners and tenders no easy answers, explaining that healing a marital rift will take courage, humility, forgiveness and understanding. Hoffman has chosen a Christian path to mending marriages, but his toolbox is open to all comers. ---------------------------------------------------- Pub Date: Dec. 4th, 2010 ISBN: 978-0984542109 Page count: 152pp Publisher: Gary\Hoffman

Gary Hoffman is a marital crisis survivor and leader of the Men on the Edge ministry at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA. "While I regret that that my past marriage failed," I am grateful for the lessons learned through my painful trials--principles I bring to my present marriage every day, and have delievered with confidence to men in relationship crisis over the past sixteen years." This book is based on marriage-saving wisdom and godly principles, condensed in these valuable lessons. "Change is hard for all of us and life is often painful,"Gary adds, " but I want you to know unequivocally that divorce is not the answer. No matter what she is doing or not doing, ask yourself what is your part in this? In dealing with men for several years, I've learned that most men are not talking to others and often not transparent with others. Instead, they are often focusing on the wrong things in life. I encourage you to learn what God wants to show you in your challenging season!"