Leadership: Achieving Life-Changing Success from Within

Book by McMichael Alford L

Leadership: Achieving Lifechanging Success from Within 1

Walk the Walk: The Lost Art of Leadership

THE BLACK-AND-WHITE TELEVISION SAT on top of a tall, black oak table just inside the front door and to the right. The one-story house had brown, faux brick siding and a porch that wrapped around the front. In the shadow of the Great Depression, my grandfather paid $800, a fortune at the time, for house No. 9 on Helm Street in Hot Springs, Arkansas, in the early 1930s. He was tagged with a thirty-year mortgage and monthly payments of three dollars.

I was born on February 24, 1952, and until I was five years old, Helm Street was a dirt road. Our plumbing was outdoors. The kitchen sink was simply a bucket where dishes were washed. The icebox was just that: a box where we put the ice from the ice house around the corner. The living room couldn’t have been more appropriately named because that’s where we lived.

Every day started in that room. It was the last stop before everyone left for school. My mother stood near the door, checked our hair, and made sure we had lunch money, our books, and all our homework. It was like a military inspection. We’d fall in, go through guard mount, and march out the door in an order determined by age, oldest to youngest. And every night ended there with us all in front of the boulder-like, twenty-four-inch Zenith television in its black-framed box.

But in 1969, that room and the television were my connection to a world beyond my imagination and to my only brother who had left home the year before. Named after our grandfather, Sherman was eighteen months older and just a grade ahead of me in school. Our lives had been intertwined to a degree unusual for even the closest of siblings. We were the men of a house dominated by women, a mother and grandmother, followed by two older sisters, ten of us children in all, and not even a photograph of a father.

Our family raised a large amount of the food we ate, my siblings and I hauling hundred-pound bags of feed to the backyard where we kept all the animals—a cow, chickens, rabbits, geese, and goats. By the time we kids were in middle school, there wasn’t a teacher anywhere who could tell us more about the cycle of life in animals or the mating processes and patterns of rabbits. We helped our grandmother, Ida, grow most of the vegetables we ate, and we executed the commands of our mother, Miss Rosa, around the house.

By the time Sherman, who was then seventeen, told me he was going to drop out of our high school following his junior year, the dark clouds of a culture in transition had started to slowly edge into Hot Springs.

A gambling and entertainment mecca that rivaled Las Vegas just a decade earlier, Hot Springs was changing. Two groups with different agendas but a common cause—Baptists and gambling operatives from Nevada—worked hard to close down the casinos that had effectively kept Hot Springs in a time warp. Although the Civil Rights Act of 1964 allowed all African-Americans the right to enter theaters from the main street and go through the front doors of restaurants to order food, the racial and political tension rising from the streets of Chicago, New York, and Los Angeles were of a nature and intensity beyond anything we experienced in our home town.

Still, it was amid both the pain of assassination—first Dr. Martin Luther King’s on April 4, 1968, then Robert Kennedy’s on June 5, 1968—and the political turmoil in Chicago that Sherman chose a road that forever took him out of Hot Springs and into a conflicted and rapidly changing world.

He had been a cornerback on the last football team at Langston, the city’s all-black high school. That fall, 1968, Langston and Hot Springs High, where former president Bill Clinton attended, were to be integrated at a new facility outside of town. The new school would be called Hot Springs High School. Langston would cease to exist, becoming instead a middle school.

“I’m not going to that school,” Sherman said. “I’m not doing that. I grew up at Langston High. I’m done with school.”

I looked at my brother. The words didn’t match the person I had known all my life. How could anyone just stop going to school?

“How can you not go to school?” I asked. “How could that thought even enter your mind?”

In those days, you could drop out of high school and join the United States Marine Corps. That’s exactly what Sherman did in the summer before his senior year.

On August 21, 1968, a Marine became the first African-American soldier awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor. A day later, as street clashes between demonstrators and police brought chaos to the Democratic National Convention, I started going to school with white people for the first time, and my brother prepared for war.

For all the changes I was going through, Sherman’s transformation would be of a whole other magnitude.

When Sherman returned home from basic training four months later, he had muscles in places I had never seen muscles before. He had become a daredevil, fearless. But I still couldn’t understand anything about why he chose the path he did. Why would he want to leave something so good, the life we had together as brothers in a family that had defined our entire lives?

I remember going to school one day when my brother was home on leave, and a kid telling me Sherman had been in a fight at a club the night before.

“Man, he hit this guy with one punch,” said the boy, “and that guy went straight down to the floor.”

My brother?

When Sherman left for Vietnam, I struggled to process that reality. Not even integration had as much impact on me as my brother going off to war all the way on the other side of the world. I thought about him all the time. I wrote him letters. I told him about my car, my girlfriend, what was happening at school and around town. Every night I prayed he’d be safe.

I understand now what parents and loved ones go through when their sons, daughters, husbands, and wives are in harm’s way.

I was a seventeen-year-old kid looking up into the heavens and praying for the good Lord to watch over my brother. Every night I made sure I was home with a seat in front of that television in our living room to watch Walter Cronkite on the CBS Evening News. It was as if I needed to see that Vietnam footage to make sense of the path my brother had chosen.

I remember thinking back then, Isn’t the military for men? Don’t you have to be a grown man to be a soldier? My brother was a boy, just like me. Men looked like those fathers down the street heading off to the Reynold’s Aluminum plant with their lunch boxes. Even with all those new muscles, to me, Sherman was still just a boy.

I’d swear that I caught a glimpse of him in the background of one of those Dan Rather reports, or in the film clip that went with the day’s war story.

I know now that I never did see him.

Later on, when he came home briefly after thirteen months in Vietnam with a Purple Heart for having been wounded and other combat commendations on his chest, I knew he was no longer a boy. And to one degree or another, neither was I.

I remember when we first found out from the Marines that he had been wounded. There were no computers, cell phones, or phone cards at the time as a way for him to get in touch. We had no idea if he would make it back home, and if he did, how or when he would arrive.

When we finally got word that summer, I went to pick him up at the Little Rock bus terminal. I remember being proud to drive him around, though I still couldn’t understand how he could tell grown men what to do. He had left as a private first class and now he was a corporal. He came home from the war with amazing stories of places and people, life and death. And he was listening to Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and all kinds of music that was as new and foreign to me as the war itself.

I still had no desire to follow Sherman into the military, much less the Marine Corps. But as my own graduation neared, I also knew I couldn’t stay at home if I was going to grow into the man I wanted to become. I didn’t know exactly what that looked like at the time, but I knew it didn’t look anything like Hot Springs, Arkansas.

The Marine Corps recruiter pulled me over one day as I sat on the fence trying to decide what to do. I’ll put in my time, I thought. Then I’ll head off to college.

“You’ll never make it in the Marines,” Sherman told me when he found out my intentions.

But I enlisted in the United States Marine Corps anyway and arrived at the recruit depot in San Diego on August 27, 1970. It was two months after U.S. ground forces were pulled out of Cambodia, almost three weeks to the day before Jimi Hendrix died of a barbiturates overdose in London, and a little more than a month before Janis Joplin was found dead of a heroin overdose in Los Angeles.

In October, President Richard Nixon announced that as many as 40,000 troops were to be sent home from Vietnam. I had been given orders to be part of a Christmas replacement. We had gone through the battalion staging process, which was the last phase of training before the flight to Southeast Asia.

By December, the world was continuing to twist and turn. The United Nations General Assembly voted to support the isolation of South Africa over apartheid. Later, the north tower of the World Trade Center would become the tallest building in the world.

Then, as I prepared for Vietnam, my orders changed to Hawaii. Apparently so many Marines had been lost to drugs and other problems in Hawaii that we were diverted there to fill in.

I arrived as a PFC—private first class—one automatic promotion above private. Suddenly it was as if my training was over. I was made part of a unit, and I would perform every minute of every day for the next two years. This was the “spit and polish” Marine Corps everyone knows from the movies.

At the time the nation was still at war.

So were the officers in Hawaii.

No breaks, excuses, not even an inch of latitude were allowed. Perfection was the only standard. Anything else was failure.

It didn’t take me long to appreciate the benefits of the Marine Corps’ rigid structure. All you had to do was follow orders exactly as they were delivered. No freelancing, no second-guessing.

Sherman and I had grown up in a house run exactly the same way by two exceptionally strong women. My mother, Miss Rosa, operated as the drill sergeant while my grandmother, Ida, was the four-star general in charge. I became a very good Marine because the role was very clear to me.

What I didn’t know was that Sherman had found his way to Hawaii as well. After Vietnam, my brother was stationed at Quantico, the Marine base in Virginia. When the Marine Corps asked him to reenlist, Sherman had the ability to choose his next duty station. As a decorated combat veteran, he took orders to Hawaii.

As I was processing in after arriving in Oahu, the first sergeant asked me if I had any relatives in the Marines Corps.

“Yes, sir,” I said. “I have a brother.”

“What’s his name?”

“McMichael, sir.”

Sherman’s first name never even crossed my mind. After nearly six months of mind-shaping training, I had truly become a Marine.

THE MARINE CORPS WORKS its people hard physically, but even harder mentally. No way can a person go through a complete cycle of recruit training and have the same civilian mind-set he or she had the first day they walked off the bus. We are taught to think like Marines, and among other things that means nothing is impossible. If you are tired at three miles, then you are conditioned to believe that you have five more miles in you.

I had been taught how to reach down into places inside me and find whatever I needed—even when I knew there was nothing else to get. There were times when I could hear the voice of my grandmother, a woman who could outwork any man on his best day, saying, “When you think it’s good, make it better. When it seems impossible, make it a possibility.”

The next thing I knew, my brother walked down the stairs. He was the duty NCO, which means he was responsible for the daily operation of the command in the absence of the commanding officer. Noncommissioned officers come from the ranks of enlisted Marines, whereas commissioned officers come from a college Reserve Officer Training Corps (ROTC) program, Officer Candidate School, and the Naval Academy.

I hadn’t seen him in a long while. And yet, there he was. This was the same guy who used to sleep in bed with me, the same guy who used to eat my food, wear my clothes, and take my things to make me cry.

But this was the Marine Corps. His uniform was Marine perfect. He had spent more than a year fighting a war in jungles, and he had felt the sting of shrapnel entering his body. He had medals, experience, and rank. We might as well have been strangers.

“I’m glad you are here,” he said matter-of-factly.

Then I was immediately transferred to the Naval Communication Station fifty miles away in Wahiawa at the far end of Whitmore Village, down a road that ran through Dole pineapple fields. We belonged to the same command, but I very quickly found out that’s about all we still had in common.

When I finally figured out the phone system, the first call I made was to Sherman.

“Hey, how are you doing?” I said when my brother answered the phone.

“Who is this?”

“It’s me, Al.”

“Are you an NCO?”

“No.”

“If you’re not an NCO, then I don’t talk to you.”

He hung up the phone.

In a little over those two years, my brother had been around the world. At that moment I wasn’t sure whether he had come back. But I thought, Okay, I’ll show him. If he’s good enough to be a sergeant, then so am I. It’s no big deal.

We were no longer throwing rocks at old wine bottles floating down the river in Hot Springs, trying to be the first to break one anymore, but I could get my arms around a little brotherly competition. From that day on I never turned back.

In some ways, neither did Sherman.

IN THE THIRTY-SEVEN YEARS from that day in Hawaii, I have been to every major country on earth and experienced leadership from every angle and approach. I have seen leaders with no fancy titles to generals, senators, cabinet members, even presidents who could have used some time at the knee of my grandmother. I have learned more about human nature in all its beautiful and twisted forms than I could have reasonably expected had I not followed Sherman into the Marine Corps.

I also learned that real leadership is a lost art.

This concept I’m referring to is that old-fashioned, fundamental, old-school leadership where those in charge walk the walk, talk the talk, and still have the confidence and integrity to lead from the heart.

Plenty of people in high places give orders and issue edicts designed to make their subordinates jump. I’ve seen it every day in the Marine Corps. And in business, politics, even academia, managers, officers, and professors still use the time-worn tool of fear to manipulate people into action or to prevent them from acting at all.

Everyone, from parents and coaches to religious “leaders” and military elites, frequently demand behavior that belies their own actions.

But real leaders, whether in the military, in a corporate or civic setting or taking care of a family, inspire people to perform. We are e...