Odds'r: The Odds on Everything

Book by Schlaifer Roger

Life or Death

1

“It’s not that I’m afraid of dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens!”
– WOODY ALLEN –

What are your odds of surviving a barrel ride over Niagara or a routine surgical procedure? Are you more likely to survive a run-in with a deer or the running of the bulls in Pamplona? Will your suicidal friend leave a note?

Whether you’re 18 or 80 we’ve got the numbers–and the odds of living or dying in predicaments from the mundane to the monstrous.

QUESTIONS

1. Scalpel, Forceps...Embalming Fluid–
You’re most likely to die from which of the following surgeries?

A) Liposuction
B) Hernia
C) Hip Replacement

2. Buried Assets–
You’ll most likely pay which of the following for the average funeral in the U.S.?

A) $6,500
B) $9,500
C) $12,500

3. Bagged by Your Dry Cleaner–
Your lifetime chance of being suffocated by a plastic laundry bag is which of the following?

A) 1 in 3,000
B) 1 in 13,000
C) 1 in 130,000


A N S W E R S

1. C) Hip Replacement
Of the 120,000 hip replacements performed annually, about 400 patients die from complications within three months of the surgery–most often because of the advanced age of the patient. Liposuction sucks the fat–and the life–out of about 80 people annually. And hernia surgery, though a pain in the groin, is responsible for only an estimated 40 deaths out of the 800,000 procedures done annually.
Source: CDC 2004

2. A) $6,500
You can’t take it with you, so leave a healthy chunk close at hand. The average funeral costs about $6,500. Switch from a wood casket to copper and you’re up to $10K; bronze runs twice as much. And for those who insist on having the last laugh, a German company now manufactures “wacky coffins” shaped like everything from Mercedeses and tuxedos to–onions!
Source: NFDA 2004

3. C) 1 in 130,000
There’s no reason to end up with a tag on your toe instead of your top, but each year 27 people turn up as stiff as their own starched shirts by not taking those clingy clothes wraps seriously enough. Turns out mob money isn’t the only thing it’s dangerous to launder.
Source: CDC 2004

L I F E O R D E A T H

QUESTIONS

4. Bull Run–
Over the 80 years of the “running of the bulls” in Pamplona, Spain, what are the chances that a runner, once run over, didn’t live to tell the tale?

A) 7 in 100
B) 35 in 100
C) 75 in 100

5. Snow Exit–
Between 1989 and 2004, in which state was it likeliest that someone would die in an avalanche?

A) Alaska
B) Colorado
C) Idaho

6. Just Chillin’–
What’s your lifetime chance of dying from suffocation in a refrigerator or some other “airtight” space?

A) 1 in 27,000
B) 1 in 270,000
C) 1 in 2,700,000


A N S W E R S

4. A) 7 in 100
Since Hemingway first glamorized this questionable tradition in The Sun Also Rises, more than 200 people have been injured in the running of the bulls. Of those, only 14 have died. Of course, if the unsuspecting bulls realized that their day would likely end by being stabbed, castrated, and de-eared as a matador’s prize, we suspect that the casualties would be much higher.
Source: National Geographic; CNN 2004

5. B) Colorado
It’s a Rocky Mountain low for the 90 hapless souls buried in Colorado avalanches. Alaska ranks a grim second with 73. Only 21 have perished in Idaho avalanches, and we suspect that some of those may have gone down in a flood of mashed potatoes.
Source: geosurvey.state.co.us/avalanche, U.S. World Stats 2004

6. B) 1 in 270,000
Keeping freshness in means keeping oxygen out. Thirteen people a year–usually kids–still die in this very uncool fashion–far fewer than in the 1950s when stringent safety regulations were passed. (And no–we’ve been unable to find any reports of someone dying inside a working refrigerator. Probably because the door is opened about a hundred times a day.)
Source: NSC 2003


L I F E O R D E A T H

QUESTIONS

7. “Hey, Guys? We’re Out of Peanuts!”
When the Uruguay rugby team crashed into the Andes in 1972, what was the chance of a survivor of the ordeal staying alive by eating the flesh of other, dead passengers?

A) 25%
B) 50%
C) 100%

8. Power Surge!
Which of the following home appliances is most likely to get someone electrocuted?

A) Air Conditioner
B) Hair Dryer
C) Electric Drill

9. Look! Up in the Sky! It’s...OW!
What is your lifetime chance of being killed by a falling object?

A) 1 in 4,900
B) 1 in 49,000
C) 1 in 490,000


A N S W E R S

7. C) 100%
Spending 71 days lost and without food in the snow-covered Andes made the unthinkable thinkable, and, ultimately, doable–as the 16 rugby players who survived clearly showed. But none of the agony they went through prepared them for the really brutal ordeal of having to watch Ethan Hawke and Vince Spano play them in the movie.
Source: Alive, Piers Paul Read

8. A) Air Conditioner
We don’t exactly know how, but according to government reports, the air conditioner is responsible for 14 electrocution deaths annually–more than the hair dryer and electric drill combined. Just when you thought it was safe to take your Carrier 52F into the bathtub...
Source: CPSC 2004
9 A) 1 in 4,900
When someone dies suddenly, it may seem to come “out of thin air,” but a particularly unlucky group experiences that sensation a bit more literally. In fact, just over 700 people are struck and killed by falling objects each year.
(Those struck by falling apples are more likely to survive–and have scientific epiphanies!)
Source: NSC 2004

L I F E O R D E A T H

QUESTIONS

10. Fumes-Day Scenario–
What is your lifetime chance of accidentally dying in a car from motor vehicle exhaust?

A) 1 in 7,000
B) 1 in 11,000
C) 1 in 19,000

11. Golden Gate Toll–
Since San Francisco’s Golden Gate opened in 1937, there have been 1,300 suicide attempts from the bridge, giving 2 in 5 odds that a future attempt will likely result in which of the following?

A) Death
B) Being Stopped
C) Surviving the Leap

12. Crush Hour–
When you get that “put-upon” feeling from a heavy piece of machinery, what is your lifetime chance that you’ll be breathing your last breath?

A) 1 in 5,700
B) 1 in 57,000
C) 1 in 570,000


A N S W E R S

10. C) 1 in 19,000
About 190 people a year get gassed accidentally in their own cars. And that number doesn’t even count the ill effects of those dangling air “fresheners.” The moral here would seem to be: Don’t leave your engine running–even for a chance to get lucky in the backseat.
Source: NSC 2004

11. B) Being Stopped
A 4-foot railing and human intervention are the only deterrents to suicide on the Golden Gate. But police or bystanders have thwarted 515 suicidal souls, only 1 of whom is known to have made a later, successful attempt from the bridge. Of those who have taken the 200-foot, 75-mph plunge, 98% have died.
Source: USA Today 2005

12 A) 1 in 5,700
“Don’t look now!” are not the words you want to hear as the hair on your neck jolts to red alert. Maybe those Matrix guys aren’t so paranoid after all. In addition to causing thousands of occupational injuries, machines permanently flatten around 1,100 people annually. (Surely that can’t be kosher with OSHA.)
Source: NSC 2002

L I F E O R D E A T H

QUESTIONS

13. A Real Sinking Feeling–
What’s your lifetime chance of drowning?

A) 1 in 900
B) 1 in 9,000
C) 1 in 90,000

14. Squish! You Were Here–
Being caught between bases can be a sure “Out!” in baseball. What is the chance of having the life squeezed out of you by being caught between hard “objects”?

A) 1 in 320
B) 1 in 3,200
C) 1 in 32,000

15. Vaporized–
What is your chance of being done in this year by poisonous gas or vapor (other than carbon monoxide)?

A) 1 in 435,000
B) 1 in 43,500
C) 1 in 4,350

A N S W E R S

13. A) 1 in 900
Better hang on to those floaties! About 3,300 people a year end up in Davy Jones’s locker. (And no, we don’t mean the one from the Monkees.) The “final ablution” is a mix of about 600 in pools, 1,000 in natural bodies of water, and about 300 in bathtubs; the others are lumped into an “unspecified” category of drownings. Wells? Pails? Toilet bowls? (We don’t know; use your imagination.)
Source: NSC 2003

14. C) 1 in 32,000
Each year about 118 folks are actually crushed to death–often between the aptly named “pinch rollers” used on chain drives, feed rollers, and–OUCH!– gear drives, giving a whole new meaning to the word flatl...