Pick Your Pieces: Some Thoughts to Think About

Except for the introduction, most of this book consists of short, stand-alone passages under 200 words each. (See excerpts below.) To understand what a complete mess I was, read the introduction. To understand how I untangled that mess, read the short passages. Most importantly, take your time with this material. Set the book down and give it some thought when necessary. ...You’ll gain more.

Chapter excerpts:
1, #27: What will fulfill us more than anything in this life? Maybe we don’t know, but we can probably guess what won’t. Our greatest fulfilment won’t come from anger or resentment or jealousy. It won’t come from greed or lust or vengeance. It definitely won’t come from fear, insecurity, or depression. So, if nothing else, maybe we should stop practicing these states of being. In their absence, we’re likely to find something better.

1, #40: Don’t ask if your response is justified; humans can justify almost anything. Don’t ask if your response is normal; in a world gone mad, normal isn’t an acceptable standard. Instead, simply ask yourself: Is this response helpful? If the answer is no, focus less on what prompted the response, and focus more on how you can improve it.

2, #7: Lust produces insatiable desire. It is suffering disguised as pleasure. (Lust for money, fame, power, sex; it’s all the same.) The solution to this suffering is to see lust for what it is and to acknowledge your role in creating it. In the simplest terms: You create lust by exaggerating the value of what you desire while simultaneously minimizing (or completely ignoring), the cost of worshiping it.

2, #32: There’s nothing wrong with choosing a path that leads to suffering. There’s nothing wrong with remaining on that path until the day you die. What’s wrong is the idea that you’re not capable of choosing another path.

3, #26: Never blame others for how they affect you. Choose your best response, own it, and if it’s lacking, develop the ability to do better. You'll disarm the outside world and empower yourself in the process.

3, #33: Repeat after me: “I don’t get to choose how others think or behave. I DO get to choose how they affect me.”

4, #25: By reducing the circuits reserved for craving, you make room for something better. By reducing the circuits reserved for judgement, you make room for something better. By reducing any self-destructive or counterproductive tendency, you clear the way for the establishment of something better within you.

4, #53: To the extent you can forgive the weakness in others, you overcome a weakness in yourself.

5, #49: Note to self: There will always be unreasonable people. If you can’t come to terms with that, you might just be one of them.

5, #61: Nobody can change the mistakes in their past, but anyone can change the thinking that led to them. If you’ve righted your mind, you’ve righted the source of your wrongs. You’ve issued the most meaningful and enduring apology possible.

6, #21: Why would you want to forgive a person who lied about you, betrayed you, ripped you off, or worse? Answer: to protect yourself from additional harm. If that answer doesn’t make sense, it’s because you haven’t yet realized the cost of harboring and continually producing stressful/negative energy. You haven’t calculated the cost of keeping that ugliness alive in your head. In this context, forgiveness doesn’t mean “pretend nothing happened” or “pretend what they did is OK.” Rather, it means “I’m not going to use what happened as an excuse to poison myself with negative energy; I’m not giving them that level of power over me.” Sure, it’s easier said than done, but it’s worth the effort. Find a way.

6, #26: When you soften your judgement of others (when you stop poisoning yourself with self-righteous, hateful energy), it benefits you more than them.