Rumors from the Boys' Room

Rumors from the Boys' Room "The rumor mill is out of control at Middlebrooke Middle school, so it's a good thing Sofia and her super-secret notebook can set everyone straight"--P. [4] of cover.

Tuesday

01

It was a total accident! I swear! I didn’t mean to see two of my teachers talking all secret-like. And I didn’t mean to hear what they were talking all secret-like about either.

Just because I was kinda tiptoeing back to my locker after school since I’d forgotten my cell phone and was trying not to make my presence known does NOT mean I was being sneaky in any way. In fact, the old Sofia Becker would’ve gossiped. But the new Sofia Becker has decided that gossip is best left to the columnists and not the awesomeness of what is called my blog.

So being all new now, I only blog about things I know are true and hear about for myself. That way I know the information comes from a trusty source. Me!

Even though the hallways were as empty as my dessert plate on chocolate cake night and any sound could be heard pretty easily, I couldn’t hear the exact words the teachers were saying.

So this gave me more reason to tiptoe closer.

The news sounded pretty exciting even though one of the teachers seemed way less than excited.
Teacher 1: The foreign exchange student should be here soon.

Teacher 2: Yes, yes.

Teacher 1: This is our first foreign exchange student in ten years!

Teacher 2: Yes, yes.
I wonder if all conversations with Teacher 2 are like that.

After my non-sneaky, non-eavesdropping ears heard the rest of the secret-like conversational exchange, I did the only thing I could. I rushed home and blogged about it.
Middlebrooke Middle School Blogger:

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE BEST BLOG IN THE WORLD. EVER.

Students in the News: The Foreign Exchange Student will be here soon! He or she will be staying at our school for a few weeks. And the student will be from . . . some country! Stay tuned to find out where!

Posted by: The Blogtastic Blogger
Wednesday

02

I always meet Nona at her locker, but since I’m always there before she is, I have to hang out alone until she shows. I try to act like I’m doing something super-important once the hallways begin to fill with students.

Some wisdom I’ve picked up: waiting and looking bored makes you unimportant because people should be waiting for you, not the other way around. And it also pushes you down the popularity meter like 5 points.

If I tell Nona to meet me at my locker in the mornings instead and I just “happen” to be late, I could very quite possibly blow the top off the popularity meter in no time.

Just then, Andrew, my biggest forever crush (and THE most popular boy in all of sixth grade), walks by and waves. At me!

Nona shows up (finally!) and gives me her weird one-raised-eyebrow look and says, “Why are you staring at your wrist?”

I give her my scrunched-nose isn’t-it-obvious look and say back, “I’m pretending to see what time it is while I wait for you.”

“But you don’t have a watch,” she points out.

“That’s why I said PRETEND.” Sigh.

Sometimes friendships are exhausting.

Nona asks me why I’m at school so early and I remind her that since my mother went from parttime to full-time embarrassment as Teacher Mom at our school (and to uberembarrassment as Pregnant Mom), she thinks it’s “cool” to ride together in the morning. I convinced her that since we only live two blocks away, a kid like me ought to get as much exercise as possible by riding my bike. So we compromised.

I will ride with her to school every Wednesday. And on rainy days. And on really hot, humid sweaty days.

Alice Ava, our newish friend and Nona’s locker neighbor, arrives and is way too happy as she gets books from her locker.

“Hey, guys!”

I barely rolled out of bed and she has enough energy to run a marathon. Way too early for that.

Alice, like me and Nona, is an unpopular. Although we are soon destined to be populars since I’m the anonymous Blogtastic Blogger and the blog is gaining more popularity, which means--I can soon start blogging cool things about us which will make us way popular!

I think Alice has wanted to hang out with us recently because she senses our deep-down ubercoolness.

When Alice first confided in us about her distaste for Mia and Penelope and all those other popular and snooty girls, I had to give her a high five and call her our new best friend.

Even though Mia St. Claire is at the top of the popularity scale, she’s at the top of my annoyance meter.
Reasons why Mia is THE most annoying girl in all of Middlebrooke Middle School:

Her hair smells like fresh strawberries. (I only know this because one time she walked too close to me and I was forced to sniff.)

She’s super-rich. I suspect she buys her friends, which makes her fake-popular.

She has the ability to cast spells on boys and make them like her. (Don’t worry, Andrew, I’ll find a cure and save you!)
There are MANY more reasons I could name, but then I’d be stuck writing for like a week just to list them all.

Mia and Penelope were once what you would call total besties. Now they’re more like frenemies, ever since Penelope told everyone about Mia’s secret crush when she swore she wouldn’t.

So now Mia has declared some girl Maddie as her new bestie, which automatically bumped Maddie up to number two on the popularity meter. I really don’t get it. I mean, what does Maddie have that the rest of us don’t?

I bet Mia is just using Maddie for her hair. After all, the possibilities are endless.

I will now need to teach my awesome pet parrot, Sam Sam, some new words.

I’m glad Penelope was replaced, though. She’s been out to get me ever since I (accidentally) squirted cow eyeball juice on her new outfit during a dissection project in science class. She got me detention, so you would think we were even, but no. Mean people like Penelope never. Give. Up.

We’re supposed to be studying. Or doing assignments. But in my case, if no one was next to me I could be blogging. Of course, no such luck. Long-Legged Lenny is sitting next to me and he takes up just about all the possible legroom under our table. I know it’s not his fault that he’s overgrown and tall enough to be a superstar basketball player, but still.

While I pretend to study, Nona nudges me and tells me about her total non-fun idea that starts with an “L” and ends with a “T.” And it might have an “IS” in the middle.

In third grade I officially named Nona The Most Organized Person Ever. She makes lists for everything.

Nona decided that “we” (meaning Nona) should make a list of the possible countries that the FES (Foreign Exchange Student) might come from.

As I’m walking to meet my mom, I hear a parent talking to one of the teachers about the FES in a hushed voice. Like it’s a big secret or something. And I know it was about the FES because they actually mention which country he’s coming from! Yes, it’s a boy!
Middlebrooke Middle School Blogger:

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE BEST BLOG IN THE WORLD. EVER.

Students in the News: A boy Foreign Exchange Student will be coming here all the way from England! On Monday! You read it here first. Don’t forget that!

Also, Mia St. Claire was seen waiting a long time by someone’s locker looking very, very bored. Did I mention for a really long time?

Teachers in the News: Mrs. Becker is having weird pregnant cravings, which include eating the cafeteria food!

Posted by: The Blogtastic Blogger

Blog Comment by Advisor Mr. A: Remember the rule about not using full names?