A Pre-Pandemic Road Trip Became a Roadmap to Love, Aging, Spirituality in Modern Marriages
What keeps a marriage evolving and thriving, especially in the final season of life? That question prompted a road trip to interview old-soul couples about the truth behind committed relationships. With Side by Side: The Sacred Art of Couples Aging with Wisdom & Love, Caryl & Jay Casbon give us an insightful collection of real-life teaching stories and practices proving it's never too late to love more deeply.
Let's face it. Marriage and committed relationships are complex. So is aging! If you've ever wanted a roadmap to help you find your way, look no further. Beyond wooing or weddings, embracing wonder and woes, with a dash of wit thrown in, these Side by Side couples take their vows seriously by practicing the most important W word of all: Wholeness.
Wholeness allows for the range of messy, mundane, and magnificent challenges that come with being humans in love. Surprising or not, what helps immensely is a shared spiritual foundation, inner work practices, and a growth mindset, but how do you get there together?
Unapologetically spiritual and refreshing, Side By Side demystifies shared introspection and supports truth-telling about the hard stuff while bringing in the spirit of grace, mercy, and kindness. A Readers' Guide offers nearly 200 questions and practices that create a safe space for reflection and trustworthy conversations among couples or small groups.
For anyone curious about mature, abiding love, Side by Side explores:
- How can we make the most of our remaining years?
- What does love mean now, at this seasoned age?
- How do we work with the tension of "me" and "we?"
- How do we practice mutuality to support each other in body, mind, and spirit?
- How can we offer a beneficial presence to our troubled world?
- When one of us dies first, how will the survivor live on and thrive?
Side by Side is a profound book for modern marriages and partnerships gleaned from the hard-won wisdom of elder couples who've learned to do love differently than previous generations. Their experiences show couples of any age how to bring deeper love, self-awareness, and growth into their relationship.
Learn how to skillfully face the gamut of relationship issues with humor and honesty, such as changing sexual needs, parenting with adult children, skillfully working through conflicts, repatterning patriarchal roles, and the inevitable challenges of aging.
Does any marriage really work? Is marriage even worth the effort? Relationships bring us to the edges of endurance, mirror our tragic flaws and goodness, and offer the most fertile path to growth we know of. The featured couples share how they move through this inner landscape and remain closer than ever.
Side by Side reveals the sacred art of co-creating deep love, secrets we can all learn if we have the courage to engage in heart-opening conversations.
Start reading Side by Side now, ideally aloud to your partner, so you can begin the journey to a more meaningful marriage.
Caryl Casbon is a poet & writer, and author of The Everywhere Oracle: A Guided Journey Through Poetry for an Ensouled World (Wyatt-McKenzie Publishing, 2015.) A facilitator through the Center for Courage & Renewal, she has co-written programs dedicated to exploring the inner life, including A Geography of Grace, Befriending the Unknown, The Soul of Aging, and The Anamcara Project and Storybook. She also works as an interfaith minister and spiritual director and has led retreats for over twenty-five years. Jay Casbon retired in 2016 from Oregon State University as the first Provost of the new Bend Campus for Oregon State University after a lifetime of leadership and teaching in higher education, including thirteen years at Lewis and Clark College as dean of graduate studies. Jay also worked internationally in Ecuador, Peru, China, Germany, Austria, and Italy. Throughout his academic tenure, he published numerous scholarly articles. Currently, Jay serves as a consultant for universities addressing the need for redesign. Married since 2001, Caryl & Jay live in Santa Barbara, California. They offer extended learning opportunities for working with couples' groups, online seminars, and in-person retreats. They are both Circle of Trust(R) facilitators prepared by the Center for Courage & Renewal.
