It Started When You Farted: Witty Rhymes For Playful Minds

John Ormsby’s work is wickedly clever, technically skilful, and lots of fun.
Let’s start with the humour. Initially, it was challenging to gauge the intended audience for this book. The illustrations, which are bright, clear, and colourful, might suggest it’s aimed at children. However, the tone and the topics of many of the poems suggest those children are likely restricted to the milieu of Addams, Baudelaire (as in Violet, not Charles), or Gashlycrumb. "Creepy Crawler" illustrates what I mean:

A friend of mine who used to teach
Said some kids he just couldn’t reach
A situation made more grim
For they were learning how to swim

Whatever Ormsby’s intent, we’re lucky he didn’t aim his work at kids because some of the best poems are about very adult subjects but come wrapped in rollicking meter and particularly deft rhyme. “Alpha Mail” lets us in on just what the postman is thinking about us, and it’s not pretty. “Tudor Suitor” runs through all of Henry’s wives in search of a male heir, ending with Elizabeth I, who “showed the world it takes a girl / To do it like a boy.” “Secret Santa” is a long poem about the office gift exchange and the various personality defects, petty revenges, and perils of the punch bowl that are particular to workplace Christmas parties. What makes this so much fun is the good-natured cynicism captured in the rhymes. The fact that some of the rhymes feel like a reach but land anyway only makes them more effective. For example, when a would-be lothario is emboldened by the reception of his gift, we get “That perfume seemed to animate her / I’ll say ‘hi’ by the laminator,” which is cause for both groaning and secretly high-fiving Ormsby at the same time. “Creature Feature,” a poem about how dining etiquette goes all to hell in movie theatres, is particularly rich with unexpected rhyme. If you want to know what rhymes with Fred Astaire, pommes parisienne, bourgeois, Oreo, and crotch, you’ll just have to get the book.

While the longer pieces give Ormsby room to play, the short ones, quatrains mostly, are surprising for how much they can pack in. “Ready To Chuck It All In” is about the Queen of England’s ninety-fourth birthday, effusively celebrated by everyone—or almost. The title hits you later. “Mane Attraction” encompasses everything Ormsby does well: punny title, clever rhyme, and a spin on the situation that I’ve not seen before. Here it is:

Rapunzel’s prince betrothed his love
Her freedom he was wishing her
Alas, he could not climb above!
(She’d used too much conditioner)

It Started When You Farted is a whole surprising package. While the poems don’t need the illustrations to be effective, the pictures are a lot of fun, and Ms. Benko often adds touches that are amusing all on their own. For example, a couplet about whole grain bread is accompanied by a picture of a bakery called “You Deserve Butter,” and Benko solves the riddle of what Elton John would look like as a bee. If the actual contents aren’t enough to spur you to purchase, all proceeds benefit the UK Teenage Cancer Trust. What poetic accolade also rhymes with “mensch”?

One note for Mr. Ormsby’s next book (and there ought to be a next book) is that he needs an editor who understands light verse... those small quibbles aside, John Ormsby’s is a welcome voice in the light verse chorus, and I hope to hear more of his harmonious cacophony.

Reviewer: Barbara Egel is a poet and also reviews poetry, criticism, and literary biography for Booklist as well as for Light. She teaches Design Thinking and Communication at Northwestern University and serves on the board of the Chicago Literary Hall of Fame.