The Things That Keep Us Here

Chapter Eleven
  Peter wedged his jacket into the hall closet beside the girls’ coats, their cheerful colors standing out against the tan of his jacket and the sober maroon of Ann’s coat, the same one she’d had for years. Boots stood on the floor below—Maddie’s mauve leopard print, Ann’s stubby brown ones, and a sleek black pair with designs stitched into the leather with white thread. Kate’s, probably. She’d always loved cowboy boots. He remembered her first pair, a bright cherry color, that she loved so much she insisted on wearing them everywhere, to the store, on playdates, even to bed. After she’d fallen asleep, either he or Ann would tiptoe in and gently ease the boots off her feet. But then, sure enough, the next morning she’d appear in the kitchen doorway, yawning, still in her nightgown and wearing those boots. How old had she been, two? Maybe three. She’d cried so when she finally outgrew them and Ann couldn’t find a pair in a larger size. 

In the kitchen, Ann was tearing open a box of pasta and dumping its contents into a pot of bubbling water. She looked up as he approached, and she swept back a strand of hair from her face with the back of her hand. “It’s just sauce from a jar tonight.” 

Peter thought of her homemade marinara, rich with chopped onion and garlic and bell peppers. He wondered if this hasty meal was a result of her working full- time or if this was just the way she and the girls ate now. Somehow, he’d thought all three would be frozen in time, doing the same things the same way they always had, just without him. “Smells good.” 

“Get out the Parmesan, Maddie,” Ann said. “Kate, please set the table.” She glanced over her shoulder at Peter. “I think there’s a bottle of wine in the basement if you want to hunt it up.” 

“Sure.” 

He found it easily enough, lying in the wine rack above the mini- refrigerator, just where he’d left it. Rubbing away the dust from the smooth glass shoulders of the bottle, he came back into the kitchen. Maddie was pouring cheese into a small bowl while Kate spread place mats across the kitchen table. Shazia stood by the sink, a water glass in her hand. 

He winked at her and she smiled. 

Ann stirred the pasta. “Do you have a lot of family in Cairo, Shazia?” 

“All my family’s there,” Shazia replied. “My brother, my sister, my parents. My father comes from a large family. He’s one of ten children.” 

“Ten!” Maddie said. “That’s practically a soccer team.” 

Shazia smiled. “I have a lot of cousins.” 

“I can imagine,” Ann said. “What does your father do?” 

“He’s a medical doctor.” 

“And you’re getting your PhD. He must be very proud of you.” 

“Shazia went to Oxford.” Peter opened a drawer and began hunting for a corkscrew among the rattle of spoons and spatulas. “And she got her DVM in Cairo.” 

“Impressive.” Ann brought out a loaf of bread and began to slice it. “So, you’re making the switch from veterinary medicine to research?” Peter knew what Ann was thinking. He’d made the same career jump. He remembered telling Ann he was entering research. He’d leaned across the table and clasped her hands in his. Later, she’d confided she thought he was about to propose. When that time did come, it was over a table, too, and there was candlelight and wine. He looked down at the bottle in his hands and got busy. 

“I read one of Peter’s articles online,” Shazia said. “It was very persuasive. He said the best way to make a real difference in animal health was through research.” 

“I like your phone,” Kate said. “It’s such a cool color.” 

“Look how tiny the keypad is,” Shazia said, pulling it from her pocket. 

“Wow.” 

“How are you finding Columbus?” Ann asked. “It must be quite a change from Oxford and Cairo.” 

Shazia laughed. “In many ways, yes. But it’s actually been an easier adjustment than I expected. People have been very welcoming. There are lots of international students here.” 

Peter held up the wine bottle and Shazia shook her head. She set down her water glass. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll go lie down. I have a terrible headache.” 

“Of course.” Ann wiped her hands on a dishtowel. “Let me show you your room and get you some towels. Peter, would you dish the girls up?” 

She said it so casually. Dish the girls up. One of the shorthand expressions they used to use all the time. Surprising how nostalgic he felt hearing it again. Staying here was going to be more difficult than he’d realized. He watched Ann climb the stairs, her voice floating lightly down as she talked to Shazia, showing her around, welcoming her into what would be her home, too, for a little while. 
After dinner, peter stood in the doorway of maddie’s room. Dishes clattered from the kitchen below as Ann cleaned up. 

Shazia was in the guest room down the hall. He heard the soft murmur of her voice and guessed she was on the phone. 

He put his hands on his hips. “You’re sure you brushed your teeth, Maddie?” 

She giggled from where she lay in bed. “Yes, Daddy.” 

“Because I’m not coming in if you haven’t.” 

“I have. I swear.” 

“With toothpaste?” 

“With toothpaste.” 

“All right then.” He reached down to turn on the nightlight, then straightened and switched off the overhead light. The room was bathed in a soft glow. He made his way to her bed and sat down beside her. 

Maddie lay back against her pillow and looked up at him seriously. His eyes adjusted to the darkness, and now he could see her features, the rounded curves of her cheeks, the sleepy slants of her eyes so like Ann’s. He’d noticed that she’d lost another tooth, a bottom one along the side. What was the Tooth Fairy bringing these days? The going rate used to be five bucks. Once they couldn’t rummage up enough bills between them to slide under seven- year- old Kate’s pillow. In triumph, he had produced a Lowe’s gift card. So much laughter. They should have saved some of it for the years to come. 

Maddie said, “My teacher told us that birds are making people sick.” 

“ Uh- huh.” 

She frowned. “You’re around birds all the time.” 

“Well, that’s true. But I wear a special suit. Did you know that?” 

“Like Superman?” 

“No. It has a mask and goggles to keep infection from getting through and gloves to protect my hands. Sometimes I put on white overalls so I don’t spread the infection around.” 

“And you wear that all the time?” 

“Oh, yes. Whenever I go in the field. I keep all that stuff in my truck.” 

“Do we need suits? Kate, Mommy, and me?” 

“No. I don’t think so.” He brushed the hair back from her forehead. 

“Now I lay me down to sleep.” 

“I pray the Lord my soul to keep. May God’s love be with me through the night and wake me with the morning light.” She yawned and smiled up at him. 

He kissed her cheek, so soft and warm. He’d missed this. “Good night, Maddie girl.” 

He was at her doorway when she spoke up again. 

“Daddy?” 

“Hmm?” 

“Are you and Mom still having a divorce?” 

Poor Maddie. This turn of events must be so confusing for her. “Yes, sweetheart,” he said gently. “We are.” 

Kate was a mound of blankets in the deep gloom of her bedroom, leaning up against her headboard, waiting for him. “Hey,” she said as he sat heavily on her bed. 

He leaned forward and kissed the top of her head. “Hey. You ever clean this place?” 

“Only when Mom threatens to take away my phone.” 

She’d been dabbing on perfume again, its sweetness mingling with the fruity aroma of her shampoo and the mint of her toothpaste. He remembered the days when they had to plead with Kate to take a bath. When she was six, they had to stand over her to get her to brush her teeth. 

“How long are you staying?” she asked. 

“Maybe a few days. We’ll see.” 

She bit her lower lip. “This is really serious, isn’t it?” 

“Yes.” 

“People are dying, right?” 

“Yes.” 

“Do you know anyone who’s died?” 

He thought about that, then shook his head. “No one I know of, honey. Certainly no one here.” 

“Are we going to die?” 

He picked up her stuffed owl, limp with age, its beak hanging on by a few stitches. Where had this come from? He hadn’t seen it in years. She leaned forward, and he settled it behind her head. How his daughter could sleep without a pillow was beyond him, but she never complained of a sore neck. “I know things seem to have happened awfully fast. But scientists and governments have been working on this problem for a long time. We knew this was coming. We just didn’t know when. There are all sorts of plans and procedures in place to protect us.” 

“Like closing school?” 

“Exactly. Which is a very smart thing to do. If we can keep people from catching it from one another, we can give scientists time to work on a vaccine.” 

She made a face. “That means a shot.” 

If only it were that simple. 

“Just think,” he said, rising. “No school tomorrow. You can IM to your heart’s content.” 

“No one IMs anymore, Dad.” 

“No?” 

“They text.” 

“Ah.” These were the things he missed so painfully: the lost tooth, the backpack exchanged for a floppy bag, no more chocolate syrup stirred into milk. These next few days would be an unexpected gift, a chance to reconnect with his daughters. “Well, then you can text to your heart’s content.” 

“Right. Tell Mom that.” She yawned and turned over. “Good night, Dad.” 

That was another thing: Dad instead of Daddy. Maybe that was the thing he missed the most. 

Ann was up when peter came into the kitchen early the next morning. She stood by the coffeemaker, her hand on the pot handle, waiting for the water to stop dripping. She wore her old blue terry robe with the sagging pockets, and her hair was mussed. She wasn’t one for predawn conversation, so he was surprised when she spoke. “Coffee?” 

“Please.” He’d missed her coffee. Every pot he brewed was either bitter sludge or tasteless brown water. 

“Sleep okay?” 

“Fine.” 

“Really.” She handed him a mug, the one Kate had painted at a long- ago birthday party, the orange happy face faded now from so many washings. “Beth says that sofa’s a medieval torture device.” Ann’s sister had known what she was talking about. There was a certain pernicious spring that dug into his ribs whenever he turned over. “It’s like the Four Seasons compared to the one in my apartment. Speaking of which, I’m going to head in and grab some clothes.” 

She nodded toward the television set playing quietly in the family room. “They’re reporting a few cases in Mexico now.” 

Already? He lifted his mug so she couldn’t see his expression. Mexico was close. There were all sorts of migrations between Mexico and the United States, human and otherwise. So the latest modeling studies had been correct: restricting air travel had had little effect on containing the spread of the virus. 

She poured coffee into a second mug and pushed the pot back onto the burner. “Nothing in Egypt, though. Did Shazia reach her parents?” 

“Not that I know of.” He drank some coffee. No cream, of course, but he could make do with some milk. 

“They must be so worried. Well, maybe they’ll talk today.” She sipped her coffee. “Hamburgers sound okay for dinner?” 

“Sure.” He’d forgotten this, the way- too- early decision- making about what to have for dinner. He didn’t care what they ate. He never had, but Ann had always needed to regiment her day into segments. Errand time, laundry time, mealtime. It was how she’d coped as a stay- at- home mother. He wondered if things were different now that she’d gone back to work. 

He reached into the refrigerator for the milk. “How are you for cash?” 

“The ATMs were cleaned out by the time we got to the bank.” 

“They should be up and running now. I’ll get water, too.” 

“It was horrible last night.” 

“Sounds like it.” At least she’d come away with only a bruised shin. It could have been worse. 

“That shooting at Kroger?” She shook her head. “They said on the news that it was over a parking space.” 

He couldn’t believe it, either. “Well, things should have calmed down.” He was here now. If anyone would be going to the store, it would be him. “Ann?” 

She looked over. 

“You know we can’t let the girls play with their friends.” 

“For the whole three months, do you think?” 

“We’ll have to take it a day at a time.” 

“It’s going to be so hard on them. Especially Kate.” 

“It’s better than the alternative.” 

She looked at him over the rim of her cup and nodded. traffic was fairly light until he neared the airport. 

Then the highway jittered with cars, brake lights flashing irritably, no doubt filled with students trying desperately to get home. An airplane thundered across the sky, its lights twinkling red and white in the darkness. Peter broke free of the backup and headed for the side streets. Here, the neighborhoods were still half- asleep, just a few cars working their way down the road. People yawned at bus stops and slumped against walls, waiting for rides. 

Up ahead, Tower West rose against the lavender sky, dark except for the bright band of light that glowed through the glass of the first- floor lobby windows. Cars packed the lot and overflowed onto the grassy spaces between the buildings. A uniformed man was just coming out of the building. The guard from last night. Peter recognized the weary set of his shoulders. He slowed and rolled down his window. 

“We’re full up,” the man said in response to Peter’s question. 

“We had to turn away a lot of kids. They just kept coming.” He shook his head, his gaze distant. “You plan for the worst. And then when the worst happens, you find out just how useless your planning was.” 

Ten blocks away, ...