I Want To Go Home

“Whatever happens, I’m going to survive.”An inspiring true story based on journal entries about a brave young woman in her twenties who pushes herself out of her comfort zone when she agrees to join a sailing expedition from Gibraltar to Thailand, with no experience. A health crisis, serious mechanical failures, the threat of pirates and a category five cyclone - everything begins to go terrifyingly wrong, triggering the deeply buried trauma of a sexual assault. As she quickly adapts to life at sea, she begins to reclaim the power that was stolen from her and to break the silence. Those who dream of adventure and travel will enjoy every discovery in this story; exploring important factors around surviving sexual assault including mental health, victim-status, boundaries, trust, self-worth, confidence, self-care, sexuality, bullying, substance abuse, friendship, family, intergenerational trauma, culture, racism, privilege and much more. If you have an instinct to run and a longing to return to a place of safety, you will find this book a gentle, supportive and loving call to action reflecting on what ‘home’ really means. This book is for anyone who’s interested in the #MeToo movement, personal development, improving wellbeing, spiritual growth and cultivating hope. If you feel like your lost in a storm at sea, searching for the nearest lighthouse then this book is the beacon you’ve been hoping for."A fantastic, and surprisingly fun and easy read! The vividness with which this book is written makes you feel you are on the journey with the author, but do not let the heavy theme of the book discourage! The details of sexual assault are delicately interwoven in a way that focuses on the journey to becoming empowered and leaves one feeling motivated not overwhelmed." Jess Odell - Amazon.co.ukBook Extract “So, I said nothing. I ran away with the secret. A secret that remained lodged in my throat and my nightmares the entire eighteen months I was away from home leading up to the sailing trip. I wish I had respected myself enough to report it. I wish I had understood just how serious the crime was. I wish I had known how detrimental the rape was going to be to my health. How it destroyed the trust, I had in myself, my self-worth, and my sense of safety, particularly in my relationships with men. It became a destructive force that would turn me not against the world or the man who did it but purely against myself. I had been running from it this whole time, and I was getting tired of running.” Chapter 2"There was something magical about seeing the sunrise, the wind in my hair, the clouds in the sky, those first initial rays of light that stretched out perfectly like a mother’s arms beckoning an embrace from her child. I was in love watching the colours change moment by moment. It looked like I was sailing in heaven. There I was, this twenty-two-year-old girl sailing this fifty-three-foot boat named Who Dares Wins all on my own through the mirrored water of the Indian Ocean. Four people’s lives in my hands, and they were all nestled in their sleeping bags below deck sound asleep, trusting me to look after them. And I knew how. I felt unstoppable. It was Mother Nature and me taking time to converse in the waters of her womb as they lapped against the bow. I could feel the life force returning as I breathed in the moment’s beauty. I made promises with my soul to stain this memory on my bones forever, for lifetimes to come. A holiday destination I could always visit when times get tough. I could breathe properly for the first time since the rape. The rape had thrown me off my boat, but I had clung onto that rope that trailed behind it with one hand. I had managed to swim with the vessel the whole time. This journey slowed the boat down and allowed me to catch up to it. To climb the ladder, return to the helm and take back control. I was finding the sense of freedom that I was truly seeking within." Chapter 14