Why Not Me?: The Inside Story of the Making and Unmaking of the Franken Presidency
Langue : anglais
Edité par Delacorte Press, 1999
- Livre relié
- Occasion
Vendeur : SZ Global, Toronto, ON, CanadaSZ Global
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First came Theodore White'sThe Making of the President, 1960.??ThenAll the President's Men.??Now the searing chronicle that will forever change the way we view the man and the office .?.?.?? The dramatic rise and dizzying fall of Al Franken, who would become the first Jewish president of the United States. Franken began his unique American journey in the small town of Christhaven, Minnesota, the self-described 'son of the son of immigrants and the son of a daughter of a son and daughter of immigrants.' Follow the Franken campaign from its infancy as the candidate pledges 'to walk the state of New Hampshire, diagonally and then from side to side.' As he candidly admits 'causing pain in his marriage,' then boldly refuses to dignify any questions from the media regarding past, present, or future sexual behavior.?? Go behind the scenes and meet Team Franken, the candidate's brain trust.??Including brother and deputy campaign manager Otto, a recovering sex addict and alcoholic.??Campaign manager Norm Ornstein, the think-tank policy wonk who masterminds the single-issue (ATM fees) campaign.??Media consultant Dick Morris, who exploits the shocking millennium bug-induced 'ATM meltdown' by building an ad campaign around a diabetic woman who loses her right foot after computers erase all her ATM deposits.??And formerGrizzly Adamsstar Dan Haggerty.?? Cheer as Franken stuns the pundits by defeating Al Gore for the Democratic nomination, then is swept into office with a landslide victory over Newt Gingrich.??As he chooses an all-Jewish Cabinet because 'America doesn't want a Cabinet that looks like America, it wants a Cabinet the President is comfortable with.' Then, through excerpts from Bob Woodward's detailed account of the first hundred days,The Void, go inside the Franken White House.??Gripped by crisis from day one, the president develops a severe case of chronic fatigue syndrome.??After the highly medicated chief executive exhibits a roller coaster of bipolar behavior, including the 'slugging Nelson Mandela' incident and an attempt to clone himself, Franken is forced to cooperate with the Joint Congressional Committee on the President's Mood Swings.??And when the committee releases Franken's personal diaries to the public, his presidency faces its ultimate crisis.…
N° de réf. du vendeur 9780385318099
- Titre
- Why Not Me?: The Inside Story of the Making and Unmaking of the Franken Presidency
- Auteur
- Al Franken
- Éditeur
- Delacorte Press
- Année de publication
- 1999
- État de l'article
- Collectible-Like New
- Reliure
- Hardcover
- Langue
- anglais
- ISBN à 10 chiffres
- 038531809X
- ISBN à 13 chiffres
- 9780385318099
« Synopsis » peut appartenir à une autre édition de cet ouvrage.
Extrait
THE COURAGE TO DARE
The Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist David Broder once wrote something to the effect that "anyone who's willing to do what it takes to be president should be immediately disqualified." And that's why I want to be your president.
As a regular voter for most of my adult life, I have grown to share the average American's disgust with "politics as usual."
Year after year, election after election, we've seen candidates prostitute themselves on the altar of special interests: corporate fat cats, six-figure lobbyists in Italian loafers, women, gays, and the so-called disadvantaged. Is it any wonder that with each passing election we've witnessed lower and lower voter turnout as the public's skepticism turns to cynicism, which leads to apathy and despair, which can cause sleeplessness, dry-mouth, and loss of sex drive? And that's why I want to be your president.
The reason I'm running is very simple: to restore America's lost faith in its leaders. Of course, the high-paid media pundits may say this claim is grandiose, that I'm not qualified, that I'm deluded or even seriously mentally ill.
But I think the American people know better.
Yes, I know the job of President of the United States can be a difficult one. Full of challenges, decisions, and meetings. Furthermore, a president must be diplomatic and statesmanlike, which sometimes can mean being nice to people he doesn't like. As the leader of the world's only remaining superpower, the President can ignite nuclear Armageddon at the touch of a button, killing billions. That is a responsibility not to be taken lightly.
Yes, the President does earn two hundred thousand dollars a year. But when you break that down on an hourly basis, it's no more than a union plumber in the New York City public school system or a third-rate heart surgeon, neither of whom confronts life and death decisions on a daily basis, except the heart surgeon. Still, by the standards of the forgotten middle class, the working poor, and the not-working poor, two hundred thousand dollars is a nice chunk of change. But, unlike some of the candidates I'll be running against, for me the money is secondary.
I recognize that any president necessarily stands on the shoulders of giants: Washington, Lincoln, etc. Anyone running for president must wrestle with the nagging suspicion that he somehow doesn't "measure up" to Washington and Lincoln and the others. But self-doubt is a luxury, and anyone who knows A1 Franken knows that he selects his luxuries very, very carefully. And that's why I want to be your president.
My inspiration to run for president is threefold. First, there is the Franken family tradition of public service, which began back in the old country when my uncle Moishe left his little village in Russia. Everyone in the village said it was a public service. But seriously, this is not a time to indulge in traditional Yiddish humor. Or so my media advisors tell me.
Second, as a parent, every day I look into the eyes of my children, not only to make sure that they're not on drugs (they're not, thank God) but also to remind myself of the legacy I will leave behind. As Miss America 1988, Kaye Lani Rae Rafko, once said, "Our children are America's future." I agree. And I have made a solemn pledge to my children that I will leave this planet in at least as good a condition as I found it--if not better.
Third, I have been inspired by the example of some recent candidates for our nation's highest office: former Tennessee governor Lamar Alexander, eccentric businessman Ross Perot, Reagan-era functionary Alan Keyes, and tire king Morry Taylor. When I looked at them I said to myself, "Hey, I can do that!" The decision to run for president is not one that is made casually. I am well aware of the toll this will take on my family and on Colin Powell, who will never hear the end of it if I win.
Furthermore, campaigning for president can be a full-time job, leaving very little time for making money by developing concepts for sitcoms, let alone writing entire scripts. Nevertheless, both I and my therapist believe that I am fully prepared for the task that lies ahead, physically, mentally, and emotionally, as long as I keep up with our regular Tuesday and Thursday sessions and group on Saturday.
But the decision was not mine and my therapist's alone. There was a third person involved. The most important person in my life. Franni Franken is not just my wife, not just the mother of my children, not just the woman who cleans my house--she's also my best friend. By that I mean we have sex together. But after the sex, we often have a conversation. That's what makes us not just friends but best friends. This is not to say that if you and your spouse are not friends, that you shouldn't vote for me. Because I know what that's like too. God knows, we've had our problems. When I told Franni that I was going to run for president, she said, "Fine. If that'll make you happy." That's the kind of woman she is. So, she's on board.
My children, on the other hand, were another matter. Both Joe and Thomasin felt that as members of the First Family they would be living under a microscope with no privacy whatsoever; that the twenty-fourhour-a-day news cycle and modern, sophisticated electronic news-gathering techniques would afford them no opportunity to grow up in anything resembling a normal household. My teenage daughter, Thomasin, who is just getting her feet wet in the dating "scene," whined that trusting her private life in these delicate years to the pledged word and promised restraint of the nation's bottom-line-obsessed, cutthroat news media was no better than leaving a starving fox to guard a fully stocked henhouse. Her little brother, Joe, added that no matter how much they would try, his peers at school could not help but treat him differently if he were the son of the President and that he feared losing the companionship of close friends during this crucial formative period and even his very innocence itself.
Kids!
In our family we make important decisions by consensus. Everyone--Franni, Joe, Thomasin, and myself--must agree before we embark upon major life changes. (That's why we never bought that DeLorean I wanted.) It was time for a family meeting.
On a rainy Sunday afternoon in March our family gathered around the kitchen table, as so many other American families do, whether to cope with a family crisis, tell a joke, watch a sporting event, play cards, discuss a string of unsolved rapes in the neighborhood, or just have a snack.
While my advisors waited anxiously in the next room, I laid out the pros and cons of a campaign for the presidency and shared my vision for America's future with my family. I described for my kids an America where every child, not just the children of the privileged few, would have clean water, access to the Internet, and regular vaccinations.
"You're just pulling this stuff out of your ass to make us feel guilty," Thomasin said. "I didn't ask to be inoculated."
Franni came in on my side like a true champion. "Thomasin! If your dad's going to be president, you won't be able to use words like ass at the dinner table."
"My point exactly," Thomasin replied.
"And if your dad is president, you won't be able to answer back either," Franni riposted.
"Right," Thomasin said, rolling her eyes. "Mom, you're not doing yourself any good here."
Sensing the wisdom of her daughter's words, Franni decided to change tack and snuck me a conspiratorial look that seemed to say, "You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar."
"Honey, you know how important being president is to your dad. And I'm sure he understands how much you dislike the idea of his being president. But this is something he wants us to agree on as a family. So, what if Dad took us all to Hawaii for spring vacation? You'd feel better about Dad running for president then, wouldn't you?"
Franni was on to something. Because she spends so much more time with the children than I do, she knew how much a simple ten-thousand-dollar vacation to Hawaii would mean to a status-seeking Manhattan teenager. But it was my son, Joe, who provided the clincher.
"Thomasin, let's just take the trip. A.) He'll never win. And B.) The Simpsons is on."
And so, a month later, jet-lagged, tanned, and with my family fimmly behind me, I began my quest to lead the world, trusting in God to show me the way.
THE JOURNEY BEGINS
My dad, Hemman Franken, used to say that if you want to know where a man stands, you've got to know how he got to where he's standing. Dad wasn't so good with words, but I think you can see what he was driving at.
I was born in a nondescript ranch house, the son of the son of immigrants and the son of a daughter of a son and daughter of immigrants.
We lived in a little town called Christhaven, Minnesota. We were the only Jews for miles. My father owned and ran Franken's Department Store, which by the time I was born had only three departments: lawn furniture, men's work clothes, and driveway sealants. Modern inventory techniques had not yet made their way to Christhaven.
Dad instilled in me the values of hard work and thrift. I always used to tell him that if he fired some of his lazy and slow-witted employees, who frankly had very little to do anyway, that he wouldn't have to work so hard or be so thrifty. But he also believed in loyalty. Also, he said that the Gentiles brought in business.
In addition to loyalty, hard work, and thrift, Dad felt that trust--even when it meant extending credit to our deadbeat neighbors--was important, although I realized early on what Dad seemed not to: that trust would only lead to more hard work and thriftiness.
Dad also believed in the innate goodness of human nature, and that everyone deserved a second chance. One of my earliest memories of my father is him giving a youthful shoplifter a stern lecture and then a free candy bar instead of calling the police. Perhaps that's why Franken's was so popular with Christhaven's many shoplifters.
Ironically, when his business finally went under, after the store had been foreclosed on by the bank and our assets attached by Dad's creditors, leaving us with nothing but a mountain of unpaid bills, no one gave Dad a second chance. Always a proud man, convinced that Franken's would soon reopen with more departments than ever, Dad refused to declare bankruptcy, leading to the first of several short jail terms.
I don't know exactly when Dad started to become bitter and disillusioned, but I think it might have been in jail. Because when he resumed from his second stretch in prison, Dad seemed not to be motivated by hard work, thriftiness, loyalty, trust, or innate faith in human goodness so much anymore. He seemed to be motivated by revenge.
Dad sued the town for the very first time when I was just eleven.
It was Christmastime. Dad had never mentioned to me how much Christhaven's lavish Nativity display in the town square had bothered him. But judging by the vehemence with which he now began to attack it in court, it must have stuck in his craw for quite some time. Working with an ACLU lawyer he had met while serving time, Dad sued the town, demanding that it either dismantle the manger scene or erect an equally magnificent menorah.
I'll never forget the sight of the wrecking ball knocking the heads off the Three Kings while my dad merrily waved the court order under the mayor's nose. It was then that I realized what one man with a good lawyer can accomplish.
While Dad seemed to have found a new lust for life, his new hobby--suing the town--was not one the whole family could enjoy. In fact, we think that my brother Otto's drinking problem and sex addiction can be traced back to some of the difficulties that he and I encountered in school as the result of my father's notoriety. My mother still weeps when she recounts the story of how Otto and I came home from school one day, swastikas drawn on our foreheads with blue Magic Markers.
There was no mistaking it. This was anti-Semitism. It was as plain as the swastika on my forehead.
It's hard to imagine now, but in 1962 many people felt that only members of certain religious groups, such as Presbyterians and Episcopalians, for example, were qualified to be president. In fact, America had just elected (and was about to shoot) its first Catholic president. In 1960, when John F. Kennedy launched his bid for the White House, there were many, my parents among them, who believed that a Catholic was unfit to serve as America's leader; that all Catholics were in thrall to their puppet master in Rome: the Pope; that they were intellectually ill-equipped for anything more than brutish manual labor and the hollow re-creation of excessive devotion to the superstitious hocus-pocus of their beloved Mother Church.
Irish Catholics in particular were regarded as drunkards and loutish potato eaters who, given half a chance, would sooner spend their last dime in the neighborhood saloon than buy food for their drooling simpleton of a wife and her innumerable brood of squalling infants, each one an unwelcome addition to the Pope's legions of brainless drones.
That was then.
Now, in 1999, only Arabs are held in the sort of contempt once reserved for Catholics, Jews, and Communists. It will still be many years before America has its first Arab president but I hope I am alive to see that day. Also, I think it will be a long time before we see a Hispanic president. Also, blacks.
As it turned out, President Kennedy was one of our greatest and most noble leaders who imbued the office of the presidency with a single-minded devotion to only the loftiest of ideals for the betterment of both our nation and the world. His heroic example and irreproachable moral standing still inspire us today every time we look at a half dollar (the heads side).
But standing there in front of the mirror in 1962,1 didn't know much about that. I only knew that I was a little boy with a backward swastika drawn on my head. And I knew one more thing: I knew that prejudice, no matter what form it takes, is bad.
As I scrubbed my forehead, first with soap and water and then with an acetone-based cleaning fluid, I swore that day on the grave of my father, yet to be dug, that I would not let small-minded bigotry or widespread prejudice stop me from fulfilling my destiny. I wouldn't restrict my sights to the traditional "Jewish" professions of medicine, law, accounting, and dentistry. I would make my mark in a sphere of endeavor previously regarded as "off-limits" to my people: show business.
At that time, the number of successful Jews in the performing arts could be counted on one hand: Irving Berlin, Jerry Lewis, Kirk Douglas, Charlie Chaplin, George Gershwin, Ira Gershwin, Eddie Fisher, and Elizabeth Taylor. That was it. Eight Jews. Plus, four of the six Three Stooges. Also, Yitzhak Perlman, but this was years before he acknowledged he was Jewish.
Where am I? Oh yes. Anti-Semitism. It is a scourge that has been with us for centuries, this century being particularly bad. And that's why I want to be your president.
Don't get me wrong. As the first Jewish president of the United States, I am not going to be president of the Jews. I am going to be president for all Americans, Jews and anti-Semites alike. But even before I've signed my first bill or held my first cabinet meeting or given my first order to the joint chiefs of staff, I will have accomplished some...
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Informations concernant le droit de rétractation
Droit statutaire de rétractation
Vous avez le droit d'exercer votre droit de rétractation sur ce contrat dans les 14 jours sans donner de raison.
Le délai de rétractation expirera au bout de 14 jours à compter du jour où vous-même, ou un tiers autre que le transporteur et désigné par vous, prendrez physiquement possession de la dernière marchandise, du dernier lot ou de la dernière pièce.
Pour exercer votre droit de rétractation, remplissez électroniquement et envoyez une déclaration claire sur notre site Web, sous « Vos achats » dans « Votre compte ». Nous vous communiquerons sans délai un accusé de réception de cette rétractation sur un support durable (par exemple, par e-mail).
Pour respecter le délai de rétractation, il vous suffit d'envoyer votre message concernant l'exercice de votre droit de rétractation avant l'expiration du délai de rétractation.
Effets de la rétractation
Si vous exercez votre droit de rétractation sur ce contrat, nous vous rembourserons tous les paiements que vous avez effectués, y compris les frais de livraison (à l'exception des frais supplémentaires résultant du choix d'un mode de livraison autre que le type de livraison standard le moins cher que nous proposons).
Nous pouvons déduire du remboursement la perte de valeur de toute marchandise livrée, si la perte est le résultat d'une manipulation inutile de votre part.
Nous effectuerons le remboursement dans les meilleurs délais, et au plus tard 14 jours après le jour où nous aurons été informés de votre décision d'exercer votre droit de rétractation sur ce contrat.
Nous effectuerons le remboursement en utilisant le même moyen de paiement que celui que vous avez utilisé pour la transaction initiale, sauf si vous en avez expressément convenu autrement ; en tout état de cause, aucuns frais ne vous seront facturés à la suite d'un tel remboursement.
Nous pouvons suspendre le remboursement jusqu'à ce que nous ayons reçu les marchandises ou que vous ayez fourni la preuve que vous avez renvoyé les marchandises, en fonction de la première éventualité.
Vous devez renvoyer les marchandises ou les remettre à SZ Global, Toronto, Ontario, Canada, sans retard injustifié et, en tout état de cause, au plus tard 14 jours à compter du jour où vous nous avez communiqué votre décision de rétractation du présent contrat. Le délai est respecté si vous renvoyez les marchandises avant l'expiration du délai de 14 jours. Vous devrez prendre en charge les frais directs du renvoi des marchandises. Vous n'êtes responsable que de toute diminution de valeur des marchandises résultant d'une manipulation autre que celle nécessaire pour établir la nature, les caractéristiques et le fonctionnement des marchandises.
Exceptions au droit de rétractation
Le droit de rétractation ne s'applique pas à ce qui suit :
- Distribution de journaux, de revues ou de magazines, à l'exception des contrats d'abonnement ; et
- Fourniture d'un contenu numérique qui n'est pas fourni sur un support matériel (par exemple, sur un CD ou un DVD) si vous avez accepté, lors de votre commande, que nous puissions commencer à le livrer et que vous ne puissiez pas exercer votre droit de rétractation une fois la livraison commencée.
Conditions d'expédition
Returns Policy
You may return most new, unopened items within 15 days of the Estimated Delivery Date for a full refund. We'll also pay the return shipping costs if the return is a result of our error (you received an incorrect or defective item, etc.).
Any customer wishing to return a book has 30 days to do so if they are not entirely satisfied.
You should expect to receive your refund within three weeks of giving your package to the return shipper, however, in many cases you will receive a refund more quickly. This time period includes the transit time for us to receive your return from the shipper (5 to 10 business days), the time it takes us to process your return once we receive it (3 to 5 business days), and the time it takes your bank to process our refund request (5 to 10 business days).
If you need to return an item, please Contact Us with your order number and details about the product you would like to return. We will respond quickly with instructions for how to return items from your order.
Shipping
We can ship to virtually any address in the world. Note that there are restrictions on some products, and some products cannot be shipped to international destinations.
When you place an order, we will estimate shipping and delivery dates for you based on the availability of your items and the shipping options you choose. Depending on the shipping provider you choose, shipping date estimates may appear on the shipping quotes page.
Please also note that the shipping rates for many items we sell are weight-based. The weight of any such item can be found on its detail page. To reflect the policies of the shipping companies we use, all weights will be rounded up to the next full pound.