Be a Work of Art: 250 Anecdotes and Stories

Living works of art tend to take joy in living. So how can we be a living work of art? Some ways include living a life of wit and intelligence, practicing an art, doing good deeds, paying attention to your soul as well as your body, staying angry at the things that should anger us, and being aware of the fabulous realities that surround us despite the presence of evil in the world. Here are some bumper-sticker condensations of ancient and modern wisdom: Resist Psychic Death, Do It Yourself, Resist Mindless Consumption, Don't Fear the Reaper, Maintain Maximum Cool, Do Good Now (and Maybe be a Hero), Love and Live Life, and Reality is Fabulous. Of course, more good advice is this: Dress Like a Work of Art.

Here are some sample anecdotes and stories:

1) In 2010, General Electric reported worldwide profits of $14.2 billion. Last year, you reported personal income of how much? Who paid more in American federal income tax? Chances are, you did. Why? Because in 2010 General Electric paid no American federal corporate income tax. (Neither did Bank of America, which got a $336 billion bailout in 2009 and paid no American federal corporate income tax in 2010. These facts upset lots of patriotic Americans who pay their fair share of taxes, and some began writing or rubber-stamping messages on $1 bills. One message says, "This is $1 more than GE has paid in taxes." Another says, "This is $1 more than the Bandits of America (BOA) paid in taxes." One way to show that you love your country is to pay your fair share of taxes.

2) In June 2007 Dale Newlands took a bicycle ride with his three children beside the River Lednock in Comrie, Perthshire, Scotland. He stopped to mend the bike of Georgia, his six-year-old daughter, while Connor, his 11-year-old son, and Gemma, his nine-year-old daughter, biked ahead. Unfortunately, Gemma's bike hit some large rocks and she and her bike went down the 20-foot bank and into the river. She was trapped underwater with the bike on top of her. Connor soon realized that Gemma was no longer behind him, and he investigated. When he saw Gemma and her bike in the river, he scrambled down the riverbank and went into the water. He was unable to lift the bike off Gemma, but he held her head out of the water so she could breathe until their father arrived and lifted the bike off her. The children's mother, Joanne, said, "I couldn't believe that a simple family cycle ride had turned into such a nightmare. Connor didn't want any fuss and was keen to play down his part in the whole drama. We're so proud of him. Connor saved his sister's life - it's as simple as that. Gemma thinks he is the best brother in the world. He's our hero, and we owe him everything."

3) In 1997, Tiger Woods won the Master's golf tournament and broke Jack Nicklaus' old record, becoming the first African-American and Asian-American to win the Master's. In 1975, the first African-American golfer ever to play in the Master's was Lee Elder, who was present in 1997 when Tiger won. Tiger saw Mr. Elder and walked up to him to say, "Thanks for making this possible."

It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly a cry rang out, and on a hot summer night in 1954, Josephine, wife of Carl Bruce, gave birth to a boy - me. Unfortunately, this young married couple allowed Reuben Saturday, Josephine's brother, to name their first-born. Reuben, aka "The Joker," decided that Bruce was a nice name, so he decided to name me Bruce Bruce. I have gone by my middle name -- David -- ever since.

Being named Bruce David Bruce hasn't been all bad. Bank tellers remember me very quickly, so I don't often have to show an ID. It can be fun in charades, also. When I was a counselor as a teenager at Camp Echoing Hills in Warsaw, Ohio, a fellow counselor gave the signs for "sounds like" and "two words," then she pointed to a bruise on her leg twice. Bruise Bruise?

Oh yeah, Bruce Bruce is the answer!

Uncle Reuben, by the way, gave me a haircut when I was in kindergarten. He cut my hair short and shaved a small bald spot on the back of my head. My mother wouldn't let me go to school until the bald spot grew out again.

Of all my brothers and sisters (six in all), I am the only transplant to Athens, Ohio. I was born in Newark, Ohio, and have lived all around Southeastern Ohio. However, I moved to Athens to go to Ohio University and have never left.

At Ohio U, I never could make up my mind whether to major in English or Philosophy, so I got a bachelor's degree with a double major in both areas, then I added a Master of Arts degree in English and a Master of Arts degree in Philosophy. Yes, I have my MAMA degree.

Currently, and for a long time to come (I eat fruits and veggies), I am spending my retirement writing books such as Nadia Comaneci: Perfect 10, The Funniest People in Comedy, Homer's Iliad: A Retelling in Prose, and William Shakespeare's Hamlet: A Retelling in Prose.

If all goes well, I will publish one or two books a year for the rest of my life. (On the other hand, a good way to make God laugh is to tell Her your plans.)

By the way, my sister Brenda Kennedy writes romances such as A New Beginning and Shattered Dreams.