Zara's Big Messy Goodbye (Zara's Big Messy Books)

An excellent Social Emotional Learning (SEL) tool for grownups and little readers for learning about loss and how grief looks different for everyone (and that's okay).

After seven-year-old Zara experiences a death in her family, she learns that being sad can look different for different people.

With her Mama's help, Zara also learns a way to find comfort when big messy goodbyes feel too big and messy.

Written by mother-of-five and meditation guide Rebekah Borucki, Zara's Big Messy Goodbye teaches children how to recognize and accept their grief while also showing them how to accept the way others grieve.

And though this story deals with the loss of a beloved family member, it is appropriate for teaching children about all kinds of loss, like a broken friendship or a separation caused by moving to a new home or school.

Grief and trauma therapist Gina Moffa, LCSW, will also be your guide.

You'll find a section for parents, teachers, and caregivers at the back of the book, which offers you several exercises to use to work through grief together.

Get free gifts: You'll also get free access to downloadable coloring pages, an exclusive guided meditation for kids, and more! Just use the website link found inside the book to download your exclusive gifts.

Rave customer reviews for Zara’s Big Messy Goodbye:

“I like the Zara books because they show what many books don't: an interracial marriage, separated or divorced parents committed to coparenting their children, Black women with natural hair, and more. Zara, like all children, has big feelings and she needs help naming, processing, and expressing these feelings. In this particular book, Zara's aunt passes away. She has big feelings and is angry that her younger brother is responding differently. This is a gentle book about grief, showing that people react differently and that's okay. The back of the book also has some resources for caregivers around helping children process grief.”

“When a 7-year-old learns that her Aunt has died, she goes through complex feelings of grief. Well here is a children's book that made me cry, for I could relate to the emotions of the little protagonist - and to the tools offered in the book (both the story itself and the afterward) as ones that have been useful for my own processing of grief. If you're looking for stories with Black main characters, stories with complex topics, stories written by Black authors, or stories to help kids learn healthy habits to help them process difficult and big feelings, the Zara books are a great addition to your bookshelves.”

“Zara's Big Messy Bedtime honestly and clearly explores the multitude of feelings that arise when a loved one dies. I love that it gives parents practical language and a concrete activity to use with their child/children when experiencing the grief caused by the death of a loved one. I also appreciate the expert information and strategies provided by a licensed psychotherapist at the end of the book around death/grief. Most adults do not know how to process their grief- what a gift to be able to have information and tools to help teach our children to process theirs.”

“I know this is written for children (and should be on every child's bookshelf, because one thing that's guaranteed as a human is loss) but I don't have kids at home anymore. I am actually grieving the loss of my youngest son, Torin, who died in March of 2020... and this book reminded me how much love I feel when I bring to mind memories of him (even though it still hurts!) I am so grateful for this book... our society needs to change the narrative around death and grief, and this is a beautiful example of how we can support each other through our losses.”

“I appreciate the child-centered, nondenominational approach to processing death. Zara's experience is about connecting with herself, her memories, her family. This book would complement any family's belief system, and support both children and adults in navigating the diverse and sometimes unexpected emotions around death. The notes in the back explicitly empower adults to help children process loss, and feel confident in their ability to connect even during difficult emotional situations. This belongs on bookshelves in homes and in schools!”

“We love the Zara books, and Zara's Big Messy Goodbye did not disappoint. These books focus on how to process challenging feelings, which is helpful for raising emotionally intelligent children. My 8 and 4 year old both enjoy the illustrations as well. My 8 year old's review is that "it's a good story with a good lesson." This book was timely with so many people having to experience the death of a loved one during the Pandemic. I highly recommend this and all of the other Zara books.”

“We are big fans of Zara in our house! This book is no different. If you're searching for a way to discuss grief and loss with your children, this book is fantastic. It's adaptable for various ages and there are no religious undertones, nor does it rule out adding your family's personal religious or spiritual beliefs to the conversation. It's just really lovely, relatable, supportive information wrapped up in a sweet story with the signature gorgeous Zara illustrations. The resources at the end of the book are so helpful.”

Celebrity praise for Zara's Big Messy Goodbye:

"This delightful book opens a door for the healing conversations around grief and loss that our families and communities so urgently need right now. Zara shows readers how to use simple tools to foster understanding and acceptance for all the ways we experience and express being human.” — Tembi Locke, Author of NYT Bestselling book FROM SCRATCH, Producer, Actress, and Advocate

“Zara beautifully offers mindfulness for kids and adults alike.” — Rachel Ricketts, activist and author of Do Better

“Friends, I cannot recommend these books enough. Get Zara for you, your kids, your nieces, your nephews... They’re just so beatitful!” — Jennifer Pastiloff, author of the National Bestseller, On Being Human

Rebekah Borucki is the founder of Row House Publishing and an author of books for big and little readers. She lives in New Jersey with her family and a gaggle of misfit four-legged friends.

Gina Moffa, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker in private practice in New York City and has traveled the globe studying and working with clients suffering and enduring traumatic loss.

In the field for over 17 years, Gina has helped thousands of people seeking treatment for grief and trauma. This includes doing grief and trauma work with Holocaust survivors at 92Y, an international non-profit, as well as being a clinical director for Mt. Sinai hospital program in Manhattan.

Gina is specialized and has extensive training in grief work, trauma, cognitive therapy, dialectical behavioral therapy, internal family systems therapy, and mindfulness-based relapse prevention for substance use disorder, as well as depression.

Gina maintains a full private practice on the upper west side of Manhattan. The majority of her practice consists of people seeking support and guidance for a major loss in their life, whether through death, divorce, or an unwanted life transition. One of Gina’s clinical passions is helping people to navigate their healing from loss and grief in a way that empowers them to find a new sense of fearlessness, understanding, and meaning in the face of unpredictable grief.

Gina is often called on by national media outlets, including NPR, The Skimm, Shape, Insider, Well+ Good, Fast Company, and more-- to discuss grief, especially in the wake of the Covid-19 pandemic, where grief has played a central role in so many ways.

Among her patients, students and community, Gina is known for bringing a friendly, light and humorous approach to some of life’s heaviest topics-- meeting them where they are and tapping into their innate strengths.

She received her undergraduate degree from Fordham University and her master’s degree in social work with a specialty in trauma, from New York University. Gina currently lives and practices in New York City.